love came through.

One of the prayers we have prayed for the last six years of starting and planting Apostles Church has been for a worship team that is influential in our culture and gospel-centered. A team led by a worship pastor who is theologically sound and a true pastor and shepherd to the musicians in his care. After six years, after years of searching and reading resumes. After years of praying, God has answered our prayers in a way we could have never foreseen.

Not only did God raise up one of our own members, Eric Damewood, to become our crazy talented worship pastor but He raised up unbelievable singers and musicians organically from our own church family to lead our church, week after week. They each have their own stories of redemption and I wish I could share them all here but they are not my stories to tell. You can hear many of their stories in their songs that are on the first ever Apostles Worship album, Love Came Through.

You can download the title song, Love Came Through here for free today.

Album Release from Rachel Renee' Photography on Vimeo.

I will share more about the album after it's released on December 2nd. One of the perks of David being an elder is we received an album early and I cry every time I listen to the voices, the songs, the lyrics. God has been so faithful in our church and I am thankful He has been gracious to allow this album to speak of His glory and His works for all to hear. I pray you will be blessed by the music!

fall recap.

While we are on a roll...here are some pics that sum up the past few months.

Halloween seems like forever ago. But, none the less, it did happen in NYC. Here is a pumpkin I carved and Kate decorated at a pumpkin carving party.

Then we got ready for some "indoor" trick-or-treating at a friend's building. 

Introducing...  the butterfly-fairy-ballerina ... 

... and the hungry caterpillar. He really is hungry ALL of the time, so I thought it was fitting.

Enjoying sweet (and much needed) time with Papaw and Mia.

Wesley definitely figured out how this whole - knock on the door and they give you candy - thing works. 

Kate and her buddy Wells (a.k.a. the Pirate)

The full Halloween gang

Getting to celebrate my dad's birthday while he was here for a visit. You can tell he had several helpers.

Bundling up for a chilly Fall. 

Having some family football games in Central Park. 

Slowing down and taking some time to enjoy the season and the view...

 ... and of course, those beautiful Fall leaves. 

Happy last week of Fall (or at least to me) everyone! I can't believe Winter is just right around the corner! 

unit one recap.

We have recently finished our first unit with our homeschool curriculum, Tapestry of Grace, and I thought it would be fun to share some highlights with you. (at least fun for our family and some of you friends... maybe?)

If you are interested to know why in the world we are even saying "homeschool" with our four year old - you can read more on the "Homeschool" tab above.

We started out by studying Creation and maps of Pangaea and Mesopotamia. Kate made a terrific salt map and labeled various land forms that I was literally looking up definitions for in order to teach them to her. It's amazing how much you forget... or never learned. Yikes!

Then we quickly traveled into my personal favorite part so far - the study of Egypt. We looked at the ancient Egyptians and studied the geography of Egypt and also took an in-depth look at the life of Moses. Fascinating. We took a field trip to the MET to look at the Egyptian artifacts, mummies, and temples. Kate's favorite fact of the Ancient Egyptians is that they loved to wear a lot of make-up and jewelry. She had fun looking at the beautiful jewels at the museum and dressing up...during our "school days". Lol.

This is a paddle doll that Kate is painting. This is my "cardboard version" used to represent something a young Egyptian girl would play with, made from wood. Hey - you gotta use what you have! 

After Egypt, we studied the story of the Exodus - continuing with the life of Moses, including: the wandering in the wilderness, the Ten Commandments, the Jewish culture and traditions and festivals. Most of the reading we did for this section took place in a tent in our living room by candlelight (kind of risky, I know)  Sorry I don't have pics of everything, but you get the point. We looked at the model for the Tabernacle and Kate recreated one here with play dough. 

Kate has several friends here who are Jewish in addition to my sister, "Auntie-isha" and her husband, Uncle Deddy, so it was not only fun to study more of the foundations of our faith but to understand our friends and family better.  Another bonus was we regularly ate some delicious Challah bread! The kids really enjoyed that part. :) So much so, that Kate asked me..."Mom, why aren't we Jewish?"  Love it. 

Coop:
We meet periodically (ideally every week) with our Coop group - a group of other families who are homeschooling in the City. We know these families from our church but they each moved here just over a year ago and so between our three families - there are 9 kids between the ages of 18 mos and 10. It has been amazing to learn from these other mommas and friends and for Kate to enjoy learning in a group setting.

In this picture - we got together one week to read Ox Cart Man and to make our own butter (super easy - just shake heavy cream in a jar until it hardens ... really!?), start a knitting project (really not as easy for Kate at this age), and to make our own candles out of beeswax. Really fun! Kate was so proud of her creations.

Math consists of anything from doing addition and subtraction with popsicle sticks, working through some workbooks, practicing writing numbers, learning time, evaluating and creating patterns, creating and tracking weather patterns all way to baking scones and learning a basic understanding of fractions. Now - that is my kind of math!

We also made sure we had plenty of time for field trips: apple picking...

... several trips to the Natural History Museum, nature walks through Central Park and to the Central Park Zoo (while the weather is still nice) ...

... and a trip to see a play at the children's theater of Stone Soup, one of our favorite stories. Here is Kate making a clay pot before the performance began.

What does Wesley do while we are doing all of this, you ask? Well...he really doesn't have a choice. He typically just joins in! :) Some days we get way more done than others and some days I am screaming in frustration because we really didn't do anything other than live life together and visit friends and my apartment is an utter disaster. But, that's why we are doing this. It's just about living life together - not having to follow an exact curriculum.

I have really discovered the joy of getting to learn along with your children and to be exploring what this looks like in a family. Our family.

We'll see how Unit 2 goes! We just started this past week with a look at India and the culture in the Indus Valley during the parallel time period to our Egypt study and the Exodus.

I think this week we will just do some fun Fall crafts and read poetry and catch back up to the curriculum later. That's the beauty of ... well, just living life together.

Thanks for reading!

eight.

Eight years. Thousands of memories.

Celebrating God's faithful provision and generous grace - through the man I call husband.

He leads, He serves, He challenges. He provides. He loves. He fathers. He prays. He laughs. He reminds.

Today I celebrate a man who does so much, so well, and a Heavenly Father who knows what we need even more than we do. I am thankful for God's lavish and abundant grace in my life and in our marriage.

Celebrating much today.

Among the many gifts...today I am particularly grateful that our elevator has passed inspection and is ready to ride TOMORROW! Now, that is a good anniversary gift. It's been two very long months and we could not be more excited. 

number three.

Oh, come on. One post each month isn't bad, right?

This month will be different; I can feel it.
I can explain.

We found out a wonderful surprise. Yes, surprise!

Number 3 is on the way. Due April 19th and we could not be more excited.

(Picture is at 12 weeks...I am now at 16 weeks) 

God has richly blessed us even during seasons when I feel like it is a desert around here. When the spirit is down and the soul is weary - somehow God reminds us He is ever near and has not abandoned us. His faithfulness and steadfast love continue to carry us through these times and we are reminded that we just need to trust Him. What will it be like in the City with 3 kids? In one room? A tighter budget? Harder to get around? Not sure about schooling? Family still far away. Husband praying through career. Elevator still out - so 49 steps up and 49 steps down each day... pregnant with two energetic kids. Yet, He sustains.

We are trusting. Joyfully. Expectantly.

Another sweet gift that we cover in prayer daily. I have lost one early pregnancy. I have seen two glorious births. With this one - my heart is continually leaning towards doubt and not trust...but I take it a day at a time and I read His words to me - that He is purposeful in all He does and that it is for our good. I trust Him. Today. Tomorrow. And, I smile. Joyfully. Ever so thankful for the wonderful gifts ... and the ones that are difficult.

Surprise!

We appreciate all of your prayers for us on this new and ever-evolving journey through life in the big City with a growing family!

sweet southern memories.

September came and went rather quickly for the Sullivan family. Do you feel that way? The anticipation and preparation of starting homeschooling with Kate, classes starting up for the kids and myself along with a fun weekend trip to Kiawah Island with my fab 4 - all led to a busy month and no blogging. 

Each year, I have the privilege of getting away to retreat with these women. We honestly never care where we gather, but this was our second time to Kiawah Island - just outside of Charleston, South Carolina, and it is simply a luxurious treat every time.  

Of course, any chance I get to go back to my Southern roots - I get a big smile on my face. I even bought a picture frame that says this about The South (thee sauth): 

[It's] "the place where... 

1. Tea is sweet & accents are sweeter

2. Summer starts in April

3. Mac & Cheese is a vegetable

4. Front porches are wide & words are long

5. Pecan pie is a staple

6. Y'all is the only proper noun

7. Chicken is fried & biscuits come with gravy

8. Everything is darlin'

9. Someone's heart is always bein' blessed"

Don't you love it?!

What do we do, you ask? Talk. Talk. Talk. Eat. Eat. Eat. Talk. Talk. Cry. Laugh. Talk. Talk. Repeat.

There is something so life-giving about being with women who knew you before you were a wife and a mother and before life took turns that you were just not prepared for in your heart. There is something about being with other women who challenge you in every way with no judgements and no expectations but simply because they love God so much themselves that it just makes you want to keep going. To keep pressing on in life with faith. 

There is something about being with women who have surfed through the rise and fall of friendships, relationships, families, children and feel your burdens as deeply, if not more than you feel them yourself. They are a constant reminder of God's provision - even from a distance. A reminder of His goodness - even in lonely times. A reminder of His companionship - when you see how He has given us the gift of friendship in each other. 

It may sound dramatic to you. It's not. It's real. It's good. It's one of the greatest treasures in my life - these women. Our time together. Our tears. Our hearts. Our real and raw sharing about every area. Our laughter. Our processing. Our submitting and trusting to an Ultimate Creator who knows us better than we know each other. 

We are all so different. We are all in very different places living with husbands who do completely different things. Our children are all different ages and are at different stages. Oh, but that is what is so sweet. 

They listen. They love. They love well. 

We occasionally misunderstand each other. Feel hurt or disconnected from one another. But, I just love how these women share their hearts - their whole hearts - and we can experience what growth in friendship is all about and that is what makes it even better. Love that. 

Time on the beach - any beach - brings such reflection. (especially when you aren't taking children back and forth to the restroom) One of my favorite beach reads is Gift From the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. If I am going to the beach - this book will be in my hands. 

She discusses each phase of life as a woman in relation to various seashells and brings home such profound reminders, challenges, and encouragement that every woman can relate to and understand. Some of my favorite quotes on each area and the ones that I am praying through now that I am back to City life: 

Simplicity - "One learns first of all in beach living the art of shedding; how little one can get along with, not how much."

Solitude - "I must find a balance somewhere, or an alternating rhythm between these two extremes; a swinging of the pendulum between solitude and communion, between retreat and return."

Seasons of relationships- "Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what it was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now." 

Focusing on the present- "An island from the world and the world's life. Islands in time, like this short vacation of mine. The past and the future are cut off, only the present remains."

All things to take away from any retreat and to recreate in our everyday lives. 

There is much I took away from this place. 

Thanks for the sweet Southern memories, girls!

a new beginning

The storm is over. God was gracious to New York City. Branches and leaves covering the streets were the extent of the damage near us. Sadly, the other boroughs were hit harder and my heart goes out to those families. 

It was a strange but fun weekend indoors. 

We made a pallet on the floor and played games and watched movies. David dressed Wesley in his lifeguard shirt. Fitting for the weekend. 

Then our dear neighbor came over and brought cupcakes. We sang Happy Birthday to Irene and prayed for the best as we enjoyed the delicious treat. Thankfully, Irene was nice to us City folks. 

Sunday, the same sweet neighbor had us over to visit - for  a change of scenery. The kids love them and had the best time having a dance party in their living room and eating lots of treats. Then they both got up on the saddle (he was a mounted policeman in the City for a number of years) and posed for a quick pic.

Today is Monday. A new beginning to a new week. New mercies. The storm is over. 

We started school today. Homeschooling - to be exact. As I told a few friends - it was more of a syllabus day today, where we had a tea party and talked about the schedule and expectations and started decorating notebooks. After a few hours at a playground and visits with friends, we went to a store, nearby, and Kate picked out a few more supplies. All in pink and purple, of course. 

On our way home, Kate spotted this unusually beautiful sky right outside our apartment building.  The first rainbow I've ever seen in the City. 

Interesting. 

This is as much of the sky that I ever see at a given time in the City.  A sliver. 

I was so thankful for this sliver today. Reminded me of much. 

Promises of new beginnings. 

calm before the storm

The City shuts down at noon. All public transportation will cease to operate. Restaurants, grocery stores, markets, Starbucks - all closed as of this morning.

The City that never sleeps - will be quiet for 36-48 hours at least.

I've been thinking lately about how to prepare. How do you prepare for something you full don't know or understand? A storm that is more powerful than any I've seen before. Knowing there is a chance we will only experience a part of the storm and that is enough to cause tragedy. That's powerful.

Yet, a storm that can be quieted by a single word from its Creator. That's more power than I can comprehend.

We have stocked up on water, food, flashlights and batteries like I mentioned earlier. Charging cell phones and laptops. I have the a/c on in every room cooling it down in case we are without electricity for several days. I vacuumed. I did laundry last night. Dishes are clean.

I find myself a bit anxious this morning - not feeling like there is enough I can do. It feels plain silly to just sit around and wait. I clearly don't handle waiting...well.

Our family will all take showers and baths in a few hours in case we aren't able to for a while. Kids are out with David this morning at a playground, since we are more than likely not going to be outside for 48 hours.

Then it hit me. I am Martha.

In the view of a storm - even in the calm - I am Martha. Busy. Working. Cleaning. Preparing tangibly because that is where control can be obtained. But, I realized the preparation that really matters is - prayer. Quiet. Reflection. Heart preparation. Sitting at the feet of Jesus.

I quieted the news and turned the lights off. Turned on my Valley of Vision CD and knelt in submission to my Shelter. My Refuge. My Calm.

elevators, earthquakes, hurricanes... oh my.

Just to give you a brief update on what is going on this week in our lives:

1. Elevators: I suppose I should make that singular. Elevator. That's better. Our building just has one. We have always chosen to live in a smaller building in the big city. No huge high rises for us. We have just found them more quaint, less expensive, and as close to a home as you can get with a little more character inside.  Our current building has six floors and one elevator. We love our building, and it is a very old building. So, the elevator is one that you have to open the door to before you can actually walk in. None of this automatic business. Just a few months ago we got a phone wired in there for emergencies. Safety first!

So, you can imagine what life is like with a double stroller and two kids trying to get into an elevator that you first must  open the door and wedge your stroller through - just right - before the quick moving elevator slams shut and moves you to your desired destination. But, I am not one to complain. In the City - it is a luxury to have an elevator at all. I am very thankful.

We are on the 4th floor.

Our management company slipped a note under each door a few weeks ago (while we were still away) saying that we will be receiving a new elevator. A modernized one. Whooohooh! It's 2011, so that is good news. SO... that means we will be WITHOUT an elevator for 8-10 weeks starting in mid-September.

Gulp.

Did I mention our laundry and our trash are in the basement? Did I mention I have two kids and two strollers and we have to get out everyday for fresh air or we all go crazy?

Gulp.

On the positive side, I am looking forward to bonding with our neighbors and several have generously offered to help in any way. And, our building is providing a 24 hour doorman to help carry things for us. So, that is wonderful.

Gulp.


2. Earthquakes: I am sure you have heard and are tired of hearing about the earthquake on the Northeast. The first one since 1880 something? Yea - that one.

I was at home cooking, Kate was playing joyfully and Wesley sleeping peacefully. God was so gracious. We did not feel a thing. Friends all texted checking on each other. Several friends were in their swaying buildings with things falling off the wall, but overall - no one seemed to be seriously injured. It definitely was a bit unsettling when I could not get a hold of David though.

I was watching the news and many buildings including the one right across the street from where David works was evacuated and out on the street (per the news cameras) I could not call out to check on him. I could, however, send texts, to which I was getting no reply. Sigh.

So, after 20 minutes or so, I checked my email. David was just diligently working on the ump-teen floor he works on and didn't feel a thing. He didn't know it was such a big deal, so he didn't think to check in with me and he doesn't get cell phone access up in his building. Funny now. Not so funny during the time we could not communicate.

We are now coming up with an updated emergency plan for terrorist attacks and natural disasters.

3. Hurricanes: Ahh - this brings me to the last bit of news for this week. One week brings so much evidently. Yes, we are preparing for a hurricane now. As if one natural disaster was not enough - let's try two! That will be fun.

We have bought over 100 water bottles, stocked up on batteries and flash lights and canned food, and are praying for the best. My dad said to fill up a bath tub with water so that we have it - just in case. The City is unprecedentedly shutting all public transportation down. No subways. No trains. No buses. No ferry boats. Restaurants and grocery stores will be closed. Church will be closed.

Think about New York City for ONE day with most everything closed.  Almost unimaginable.

Then think about how crazy it is to be living on an island with NO way of getting out. We don't have a car. We do have prayers and are praying that the worst will not hit the City or the outer boroughs. Hospitals and nursing homes in low lying areas are already evacuated. But, even if we wanted to get out... we can't. Stop and think about the last time you had absolutely no control or way out. Yea.

So, here's hoping and praying for the best for everyone in the path of Irene!

Now, you know what our family will be doing this weekend. See you on the other side of the storm!

mountains and valleys.

The pause from the blog these past few weeks has been intentional, as I sought refuge and quiet and an unplugged rest in the Colorado mountains. It has been delightful. A true mountaintop of experiences. Thank you for the prayers and wishes.

Mornings of strong coffee on the deck overlooking God's creation.
Sounds of the creek trickling and laughter from children exploring dirt and rocks and sticks and wild raspberries.
Memories made with family - snapshots captured eternally in my heart.
Getting back to the basics of life and earth and family.
Campfires and singing praises to our Creator.
Watching wildlife in their habitats - as a mere spectator. (thankfully no bears!)
Cool evenings and daily storms watering the forest.
Sunrises and sunsets followed by full moon skies.
Conversations that would not have happened otherwise.
Books read and quiet times enjoyed daily.
Climbing and conquering a mountain - a true adventure with the one I love.
Weekend away in luxury with just the husband.
Self-reflection. Heart-refection. Confession. Prayer.

Such a rare treasure - cabin time. Family time. Mountain time. A treasure not taken lightly.

As we were planning to return to City life last weekend (please note :I'm not sure I'm ever prepared), we received a call that stopped the world from spinning a bit. My world, that is.

My dear aunt passed away, after a year battle with cancer. I had said my goodbyes at the conclusion of each visit over the past year - and God graciously allowed me one more hour with her last Wednesday before she left us on Friday.

Though she and I saw God through different lenses, I loved hearing what she learned in this last year of knowing her time on earth was limited. Though many things were mentioned, one stood out among the rest as the most profound. That she was not in control. She said her experience of God was deeper  - she felt Him nearer in her valley this past year.  She reminded me of much - the important things - to love well and to be thankful for the valleys where we can experience God the most.

Loss. Goodbye. Emptiness.

Never ready, but always known.

Such a contrast to the rest and joy experienced during the first few weeks of our trip. Yet, such gratitude that the Lord allowed us weeks of laughter to lead into a week of sorrow. A mountaintop experience followed by the valley. That's how life works, I've found.

Mountains and valleys. They cannot exist apart from each other.

The perspective is gained on the mountain top, but the vision is first cast down in the valley.



David and I climbed a 14-er mountain a few weekends ago. Starting out on the trail - you never really know what is ahead of you. It's just about one foot in front of the other. At points along the 7 mile trail, you can see the summit, and the vision is cast.

But, it's not until you summit - and feel your heart pounding out of your chest - that you look across mountain range upon mountain range, that you gain an accurate perspective.

(This is a view of the mountain we climbed from another mountain. Perspective. I assure you I probably would not have climbed it if I had seen it in it's entirety. Another lesson of God's grace in not letting us see the big picture.)

Perspective. How small we are. How great God is. How tough the journey up. Then, how increasingly difficult the journey down.

It brings a song by Steven Curtis Champman to mind.  In The Mountain Champman sings, "My faith is strengthened by all that I see. You make it easy for me to believe, up on the mountain." He prays, "Lord help me remember what you've taught me, up on the mountain." Then the song concludes with, "But, I know we are headed for a Valley..."

We are assured of life's mountains and valleys, though we don't know them by name.

It's remembering when we have seen God's face and experienced his love and walked with his faithfulness and his steady provision that allow us to face the valley, confidently and securely...and to keep... walking step by step where the trail may lead.

(Oh the mountain analogies are endless!)

His love is steadfast from either vantage point. His hand ever leading. His promises sure.

Psalm 121

¹I lift up my eyes to the hills.
   From where does my help come?
² My help comes from the LORD,
   who made heaven and earth.

 ³He will not let your foot be moved;
   he who keeps you will not slumber.
⁴Behold, he who keeps Israel
   will neither slumber nor sleep.

 ⁵The LORD is your keeper;
   the LORD is your shade on your right hand.
⁶ The sun shall not strike you by day,
   nor the moon by night.

 ⁷The LORD will keep you from all evil;
   he will keep your life.
⁸The LORD will keep
   your going out and your coming in
   from this time forth and forevermore.