Last week, several moms and friends loaded up and headed out to Long Island for a beach day - Kate's very first one. One of the things that I appreciate about living here is the diversity of activity from season to season. There are mountains nearby for skiing in the winter and beaches nearby for the summer. So, in about 45 minutes - we were at the beach and Kate was feeling the sand between those toes (well, sort of).
I would not consider myself a beach person. I like the sun. I love to read a magazine or a book on the beach (sans kids) and just hear the waves in the background. But other than that - send me to the mountains. However, I must say - the beach was a whole new and exciting experience this time with Kate.
At first, I thought, oh no - Kate does not like this at all. She was timid to touch the sand. She was a bit prissy, if I do say so myself. Always wanting to sit on the towel and just reach over to play in the sand.
BUT...after about an hour, she was off and enjoying the sand, burring mommy's toes, playing with her shovel and bucket.
The water, though, not so much. She loved the water, but mostly from the security and view from my arms. Each time the tide rolled in and waves washed up the shore, she would want me to lean her down so that her little toes dangled in the rushing water. She loved that. So, time and time again - I would lean her in the water and she could feel it. It was quite evident, however, that she did not have the full beach experience as some of the other kids with us, who were running in and diving head first. Jumping waves and swimming around. This year - I'm thankful for that. I am pretty sure in years to come she will be running in as well, but this one was a trip to just "check it out", and that was OK in my book.
As far as she knows, Kate had a beach experience. I'm sure she could even relate to other kids when they talked about the water and relived memories of getting pushed back by waves and tasting salt water, but she really would have no idea of all they had done that day.
Makes me think of a recent conversation.
This past weekend, I talked with a dear friend who sat with me for about an hour in tears. She has grown up in church. She is a wonderful mother and a faithful wife and is devoted to reading her bible, at least once a week, and going to church. She is someone who doesn't like to go deep and so rarely does. She counts it a successful day when the children obey and when dinner is made and the house is picked up. I'm sure we can all relate, to some extent.
I have been feeling the need to really dive deeper in my friendships here. We have enjoyed beach days together and bbq's on the patio, but I'm ready for more. I want to know where my friends here stand spiritually. What they struggle with. What they love. What makes them feel the closest to God. So, I asked the question.
"What do you feel like God is teaching you right now?"
Tears. More tears.
I listened as I realized that she was doing all of the right things and yet not tasting the sweetness of Christ. She confided much about growing up and all that you "just do" if you are a Christian, but she is genuinely heart-broken that she just doesn't "feel" anything anymore when it comes to her relationship with God. It has been a while since she has tasted of His goodness and felt it to the core. It reminded me of some times in my life that I have gone without savoring His sweetness and the abundant life that He promises.
This verse came to mind.
Psalm 34:8 "Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him."
We talked a while longer and thoughts drifted in and out like the waves on the shore. It made me realize several things, a few of which are:
1. I want to dive deeper with those that I call friends.
2. I want to be responding to life with others in Truth, so that the enemy's lies no longer have a foothold on our hearts.
3. l want to step back in silence more and simply taste and see the goodness of my Father.
4. I want to stop trying to do it all myself and start really taking refuge in Christ and in the freedom He promises.
I have learned that it all starts with prayer. I don't have all of the answers, but I'm pretty sure that is a good starting place. I pray that we don't just stick our toes in all that God is accomplishing around us and in His provision for our lives and then remove them back to our place of security. No, my hope is that we would taste Him. That we would allow Him to penetrate our hearts so deeply that we can't help but be changed to live as children of the Light and encourage others along the way. That we would drink of the Spirit and that it would overflow Truth to those around us.
Those are my thoughts today.
Here are some of the kids in the car on the way home from the beach. They were all OUT in about 30 seconds. A sign of a good day.
I pray that we are this exhausted at the end of every day, because we have asked the hard questions. Meditated on His word. Prayed endlessly. Lived fully. Tasted sweetly. What are we waiting for?
And, despite my tendencies time and time again to try and take those oars back in our marriage, I am thankful that his strong leadership prevails with a Godly grace and gentle correction. 
