perspective.

"Perspective...

Colorado always provides us a healthier perspective.

As we live out our daily lives in the concrete jungle within the confines of Manhattan, the Colorado Rockies always provide a welcome and often much needed change of pace.

Clocks are optional, technology largely ignored, distractions removed, tranquility and quiet are displayed in grand force.

It is always a delight to get away, to this place where it is seemingly easy to recognize the extraordinary in the ordinary. The soothing sound of the creek that runs next to the cabin... calming notes of hummingbird wings... the occasional rumble of an afternoon thunderstorm...

It is a time to allow yourself to regain perspective, reflecting on the majestic works of our mighty Creator, marveling at his tender care, and remembering that he love us deeply.

It is a time to stay up late, sleep in, nap frequently and move at whatever pace you feel up to. No schedules, no demands."

{Excerpt from Husband in our CO journal}

{the mountains}

david climbed Mt. Harvard this year

the mountain view near our cabin

{the cabin}

{the wildlife}

{the family}

{the raspberries}

{the hikes}

{the stories}

{the creek}

{the memories}

{the perspective}

{the Creator}

Psalm 46:10

Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.h!

these are the days.

Oh...deep breathe.

The past few months have been a whirlwind in many ways. Having a new baby will do that to you, ya know. But, in addition to welcoming our sweet Wesley, we have had to say goodbye to some very dear friends.

One thing that I have learned in our time in New York is the importance of friends. I know I say this all of the time, but it's because they really are your family here. They celebrate the highest highs with you and they also see you in your raw and unlovely moments as well. So real. So intense. Most of us, if not all of us, are thousands of miles away from our real family and so we have learned to relish the spiritual family God has provided. Oh, has He been faithful.

The Roses. I can't even say their name right now without tearing up and smiling the biggest smile. You can't be sad about being friends with the Roses. Over the last four years, Kristian and Katy have become some of our closest couple friends and we have been extremely blessed to have lived life with them in the City and to learn from them. They taught us so many things about what it means to live a compelling life on mission for Christ. They walked the walk and lived it out in such a real and humble way that anyone who knows them is moved to do the same. We shared family trips together, many holidays together, and more meals than I can count. This summer we said goodbye to them for now. God has led them to Oklahoma while Kristian begins Law school.

The Dunbars. A family who exudes fun and craziness and who exemplified God's perfect provision for us over the past few years. As most of you know, because I talk about them all of the time, they were not only dear friends but also neighbors. We shared the downstairs of an apartment building with them, including the outdoor space. Every day we were together for something. The kids played outside as if we were in a suburban neighborhood; they rode bikes together, played in the dirt together, came back and forth until it was time for baths. Oh yeah, and those free date nights. David and I were able to enjoy a weekly date night with our good friends right next door. Sarah became such a dear friend to me. We cried together often. We could share our frustrations one minute and then laugh so hard and leave more thankful than anything when we finished our conversation. Our families grew together. Struggled together. Played together. Ate together... a lot. Lived life together. We said goodbye for now as they moved to Seattle a few weeks ago. Sigh. New York City, just won't be the same City without them.

(Katy, Me, Sarah)

And then sometimes when you live life together, it takes you down a road you never imagined. This past Monday, we said goodbye to my friend, Chamie's husband. We have walked, prayed, and battled cancer with them for the last year. It is just not how God designed it to be. After sitting with her for five hours the day her husband was taken from her home for the last time, I sat on her couch realizing that living life together means living all of life together. It means you go deep...fast. It means wrestling with your faith and crying out to God together. It means standing beside and learning to hold one another up when you just don't think you can take another step forward.

Tonight was the memorial service. It was more than beautiful and more than tough. There are just not words. As I sat beside my closest NY girlfriends and right behind Chamie tonight as we honored her husband, I was so humbled. I felt so grateful. Grateful for friends. Grateful for learning that God really does provide in the wilderness. And especially grateful that God doesn't answer all of our prayers. Grateful that instead, He has kept our family in New York for now and that He chose me to be here in this moment, crying these tears and worshiping our Savior alongside these women. Grateful.

When Sarah left a few weeks ago, she sent out one last email to her friends and said that she will always look back at her time in NY as the "time of her life". I just might agree and I haven't even left. Through all of the joys of hellos and all of the tears of goodbyes...these are the days. Such a range of emotion and yet it's what makes life so full and rich.

These are the days. Thank you, Lord, for the reminder tonight.

big sister turns 3.

My baby girl turned three at the end of June. Two weeks after we moved into our new apartment and one month after her little brother was born. I guess you could say it was a busy time in our lives.

So, what do we do? Throw a big birthday party at our newly unpacked apartment, of course. Not just any birthday party - a dress-up tea party!

The tea party was originally supposed to be hosted in our previous apartment's backyard garden, but since we moved unexpectedly, the garden moved indoors! The bonus about not having unpacked everything yet is that you can turn any room into a magical garden, right?

The kids decorated their own tea set. (Kate takes her crafts very seriously)

Enjoyed cupcakes in their very own teacups.

And, of course, got to dress-up.

We concluded the party with a huge hit: the string pinata.

It was a success!

A special thank you to Aunt Kimber and Mia, who each made a special trip to New York and who helped make this party possible. :)

hello there.

Welcome, Wesley James.

May 27th.

6 lbs 14oz.

You came into our lives quite unexpectedly, really. It started out as such a normal Thursday. I made a good breakfast: eggs, toast, maybe even some turkey sausage, if I remember correctly. It is my favorite meal of the day after all. I was taking your sister to her gymnastics class and decided to stop by the doctor for our weekly exam. It was such an ordinary day that suddenly turned to the extraordinary when the doctor curiously asked me, "Are you feeling anything right now?"

Of course, I laughed. I mean living in New York City, walking everywhere and being a mom of an active 2 year old at the time - I feel quite a lot, but I move on ahead as all moms do, you know, one foot in front of the other. "You are already dilated to a 3 and I can feel the baby. You need to go to the hospital."

"So, I can't take Kate to her gymnastics class first and then go to the hospital?", I asked. Spoken like a true mom in denial.

Dr: "No."

Me: "OK, so I go to the sonogram place again where they hook me up to this machine and see if I am having contractions?"

Dr: "No, you get in a cab and you go straight to Labor and Delivery. You are having a baby... today."

Me: "OK, then." Head spinning. I was practically in tears that Kate has to miss her beloved gymastics class; never mind that this is the day. 16 days early, but still the day has come when we will move into a family of four.

Oh gosh - check list begins spinning in my head. Call David. Call Sarah. Drop Kate off at Sarah's (our neighbor, at the time, and very dear friend) Call parents. Pray. Try to keep it together as I walk two blocks to the hospital. Call the Roses. Call Murph. Figure out who can stay with Kate overnight. Get a Plan B. Text other dear friends for prayer. Meet David at hospital. Get into gown. Get hooked up to machine at hospital. Answer questions. Feel contractions. Feel more contractions. The nurse confirms the baby is still in breech position (see previous post for details) which means ... the C-Section is inevitable at this point.

Then the question comes from the nurse, "Did you eat anything for breakfast?"

"Uh, Yes!" Trying not to look at her in that - "did you really just ask me that question" kind of way. I mean it is the best meal of the day in my book. What pregnant woman doesn't eat breakfast, I am thinking to myself? She asks me if it was just cereal and I had to confess that it was most definitely eggs, and toast and sausage. Sigh. Then tells me I have to wait all day for the food to pass through my system because I am about to have surgery.

Great.

I look at my watch. It is 9:30am.

Me: "OK, so like Noon?

Nurse: "No, more like 4 or 5pm."

Me: "OK."

So, for the next several hours that felt like an eternity, we waited and waited and waited to see you. The contractions grew stronger but were bearable. It was such a strange feeling to feel the contractions but know that I was about to have surgery and that this experience was going to be so incredibly different than the one I had with your sister. Neither one better or worse. Just different.

Your dad and I wanted to take one last picture of us before I went into the operating room. Our life and our family was about to change for the better. We couldn't wait any longer!

I went into the OR first and and then your Daddy met me in there and you were born about 10 minutes later at 5:52pm. We were so proud. I could hear you cry even though I couldn't see you quite yet behind the curtain. The first thing the doctor said as you were born was, "He's a cute one!"

Then the doctor handed you to your Daddy and I was able to see you for the first time. It still takes my breathe away to think back to that moment.

Then I noticed your Daddy started looking a bit white. Like, really white. Then I heard him say, "Doc, I'm not feeling so great." Then a rush of nurses escorted you and your Daddy out of the OR while the doctor finished putting me back together. Literally. Oh - should I not have said that? All I know is when I was ready, I was rolled into a recovery room where you and your Daddy were waiting for me. Your Daddy was much better after taking off his scrubs and downing 3 juice boxes. :)

What a blessed day. God's provision was evident through every detail and every doctor and every nurse. Prayers were answered. Nothing was as we would have planned it on May 27th and yet it was the very plan God had designed for you and for us and so it was perfect. Just as it should be.

This is your big sister, Kate, when she met you for the first time. She loved to count your toes and was so excited to realize you both had 10 of them! "We match!", she exclaimed. She loves you so much already. It makes me cry - in a good way.

Three days later, your Daddy and big sister carried you home. Your Mia, Uncle Dan and Ashley and I followed closely behind.

Welcome, Wesley James.

We love you.

So much.