prayer.

i sat in awe as i heard my daughter pray these words on her own this evening. no prompting. no discussion beforehand.

"dear God, thank you for my family. i pray for those boys and girls who don't have a mommy or a daddy or a brother or a sister. i pray that they get a new mommy and daddy. i pray for love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-controlness. the end. amen."

gulp. grin.

growing up.

My sweet baby girl is growing up. I know. It happens.

No, it's not her birthday, but every single day she amazes me. Sometimes I just can't hold it in and I want to shout it from the rooftops ... or my blog. So, I am.

She is so smart.

She is sassy. Ahem. Very.

She can engage in a conversation like she is twenty. Scary.

She calls herself an artist. I love that.

She is constantly writing or drawing. Creating. Coloring. Imagining. Story-telling. Dancing. Singing. Observing.

She says she wants to be a mommy when she grows up. I love that even more.

She is a tomboy and such a girlie girl. The best combination in my book.

She plays soccer with some serious skills in a ruffled dress and white sparkly sunglasses.

She loves Jesus. She tells us so. She asks the most thought provoking questions about Him and it blows me away.

She is hysterical. She makes us laugh constantly, both in amazement and in response.

She calls me out. Daily. Sigh. While I hate it in the moment, I love that about her. I am thankful for that accountability.

Today, she finished reading her first full book (Bob's Books for beginning readers) and as I'm about to burst out in the biggest proud momma dance ever, she looks at me and says,

"Mom, I'm growing up aren't I? Because now I can read, that means I'm growing up, right?"

I say, "Yes, you are, my love. Yes, you are."

Oh, how I love this girl.

heavy heart. hopeful heart.

I am sitting in disbelief as I have witnessed yet another first in New York today.

It has left me clinging for hope at the foot of my Savior as I think about the brokenness that exists in this City of ours and in this World in which we live.

I was going to close the blinds in my bedroom so WJ could take a nap while friends were over playing and I saw the unthinkable: a dead body laying across the street from our building - on the sidewalk. Thankfully the investigators and police had just gotten there but he was not yet covered. I will not describe the details witnessed but I immediately felt ... shocked and heavy. Speechless. Heavy. Wanting answers. Heavy. Wanting to not believe what I was really seeing. I tried to think of what this man's story was and what could have possibly happened to result in this tragedy.

A few other hundred thoughts came rushing in like wow, just another fun day in New York City!

But really, this can happen anywhere, not just New York City. In fact, it does. Not just the Bronx, the Upper East Side. Not just America, the World. This man was our neighbor. I did not know him. I did not know his name, but I just might have walked by him one day over the past year of living in this building.

Some days it is easier for me to show love to this City than others. Some days I want to quit living on mission here and just flee to somewhere else - anywhere else. Some days we feel more love from the City than others. Either way - it doesn't matter. We are called to love. To keep loving even when it's exhausting. To choose to love even when it isn't reciprocated.

During Holy Week, I am reminded of the ultimate Love - the very reason we are able to love our neighbor without needing anything in return. I am reminded that I did nothing to deserve God's infinite love towards me and I do nothing to keep it. It is a free gift and it is one that is meant to be shared, freely.

Today, especially, I am reminded of the needs around us and the neighbors that need to hear of this Love. I am repentant of the idols and selfish desires that keep me from loving this City well. I am hopeful and grateful that God has promised to restore and redeem all of the brokenness in this World and to make all things right. I am confident in His promise to His children of eternal life.

I cling to that promise today. I repent of my idols today. Though weary, I choose to love another day. Not because I am a good person, but because I am not good, yet have a Savior who came to die so that I could experience love and life and both to the fullest. I have a God who gave everything, so that I could gain ... everything. A Redeemer who lost so that I could win and be satisfied with what money cannot buy. A Lord who took my punishment and declared this sinner ... righteous.

What Promise. What Hope. What Love.

Almighty and everliving God, in your tender love for the human race you sent your Son our Savior Jesus Christ to take upon him our nature, and to suffer death upon the cross, giving us the example of his great humility: Mercifully grant that we may walk in the way of his suffering, and also share in his resurrection; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

Collect for Palm Sunday from the Book of Common Prayer

welcome.spring

Spring comes later in New York than I would prefer but it always comes, and when it comes - it is glorious. Glorious in its own right and glorious because of the usual l-o-n-g winter that preceded. Each winter serves a purpose and I love the things God revealed while persevering the cold.

I am thankful for a new season. Last weekend was glorious. This weekend, not so much, but it will be back. I am sure of it.

Spring in New York City means...

A window garden,

More sunshine,

Family picnics in Central Park,

Cherry Blossoms about to pop,

Longer days,

Exploring new things,

Soccer games,

Time spent outdoors,

Park treats,

Laughter,

New life,

Playing,

A fresh perspective,

Running,

Swinging,

Simplifying,

Climbing,

Welcome back, Spring.

fyi.

fyi. In case you were wondering, I've heard it said that it takes a day to recover for every hour difference when you travel. I would agree. It took us every bit of that time and longer - since everyone was sick upon our return from CA - just to feel like we were fully functioning again.

fyi. Even when you think you are fully functioning, you may not be. There was a clear example of this the week after we got back from our trip. I was multi-tasking in the kitchen and was actually thinking, quite pridefully, that I have really figured this mom-of-two thing out. Cooking dinner, making baby food, feeding Wesley, and cleaning dishes all at the same time. Well, I thought I had it under control until I looked down and realized that my oven mitt was ... well, on fire. Oops.

fyi. When making homemade play dough and especially on a day that you have a group dinner meeting that evening, don't use your hand to mix in the food coloring. You just might have ... say a pink hand.

fyi. However, if you do have said pink hand, know that it will eventually come off after a lot of scrubbing with warm water and baking soda. (thanks, Murph!) Except, also note the color may last a bit longer in your nail bed where you can't quite reach and people just might think you work in automotive repair.

fyi. Try to check the news before you get on a bus with a ten month old an hour before dinner time. If lets say, the President is in town visiting, there is a good chance one of the streets you are trying to cross on will be shut down for a good 45 minutes to an hour. Your ten month old then might get hungry and start to cry and scream, uncharacteristically. You might even start screaming for tic tacs (I was close) or something really embarrassing, so just check the news.

fyi. Oh, and remember if you are stuck on said bus, that there is a $250,000 fine for them to let anyone off of the bus if not at a designated stop. Even those with a screaming baby. You are just simply trapped.

fyi. It's good to remember and manage your expectations when you live anywhere outside of Texas (ok, and maybe a few other states) and it comes to Spring. It will snow and be in the 30's well into April, so don't even bother getting your flip flops out until May. Don't even worry about a pedicure. Seriously. Don't.

fyi. It's also good to remember that New York is one of those special places on earth where grumpy people walk around under the cover of sweet grandpas and grandmas. Maybe it's because of said weather. And, if you are on your way to lunch and you pass a fun doggie day care that has big windows for your kids to look through and look at dogs, but it's on the left side of the sidewalk and you are going north, make sure you not only move far away (not just a little bit away) so said grandpa can pass by without looking at you. Because chances are, he will gaze at you right as he is passing by in the pouring rain and heavy wind - just in time for the wind to pick up his umbrella and turn it inside out and for him to start yelling at you like it's your fault. He might even call you an idiot in front of your kids and yell at you telling you to watch where you are going - not bothering to notice that you weren't moving in any direction, but out of the way for him. Sometimes - there is just no love. Sigh.

fyi. It might also be good to remember that your almost four year old daughter is listening and watching everything, so when you quickly snap back that you can't be blamed for the umbrella turning inside out, she says even hours later, "mom, you sure yelled back at the mean man, didn't you?" Uh - it might just leave you as a mom...a bit speechless. But, sometimes I feel like some things need to be said. I wasn't yelling, was I?

fyi. Remember, sometimes - you just can't make this stuff up! No need. Not when your life is a walking piece of literary drama or comedy. Or both. I'm trying to keep laughing.

CA: the next few days.

day four through seven

Some of you are so tired of hearing about this crazy CA trip and some of you are hooked like it's a bad soap opera or something. Well, both of you are welcome to keep reading, and here we go.

day four: goodbye La Jolla.

Of course, the last morning we are there is perfect weather. We get to enjoy it over breakfast from the top of the motel. I must say - the Motel has grown on me quite a bit. I would stay there again and recommend anyone to as well. I kind of think of it as the gem of La Jolla. Who knew!

On the way to L.A. we stopped by David's office in San Diego so that they could meet the family and we could meet them. David talks about them all of the time so it was great to put faces with names.

Hello L.A.:

After only one throw-up incident (whoohooh!) in the car, after a two hour drive, we meet the owner of a rental house we are renting for the weekend in NoHo (North Hollywood). It could be likened to a rough area or a ghetto if I can say it out loud. It's a great house. Very nice and the area is remarkably quiet and clean but the neighborhood is a bit shady if I say so myself. You never know on those rental websites, but the house itself did not disappoint. I drop David and the kids off and run to pick up Stephanie and head to a bridal luncheon for my older sister, Alicia, getting married.

For some pics and details of our days and the wedding following, you can visit my sister, Stephanie's blog HERE for a great recap and summary. Just keep in mind this is all in the Grand Marquis and usually pouring down rain. :)

day five: surprise!

One of the highlights, outside of just spending time with family and getting to celebrate Alicia and Deddy, was visiting the SoHo House for breakfast on day five. Deddy is a member there as he is in the "biz". It was an amazing treat to go from the Motel to the NoHo ghetto to the SoHo house. Whew. Read about it and see pics HERE. Let's just say I want to decorate my apartment just like this place.

We even got to squeeze some time in for a family photo shoot in a gorgeous park nearby in Beverly Hills. Aside from Steph's pics, here are a few we took.

As Steph said, after the SoHo House, we went with Alicia and Deddy to help with flowers. Little did we know, we were signed up as the florists to create about seven arrangements for the big day (no pressure!). And, four and a half hours later - I think we did just that. Well, until they wilted later that night. So, we got a text from Alicia that the florist is kindly going to replace the flowers - we just need to redo the arrangements the next day.

OK. No problem. We can do this. Steph was the best partner ever. It was great teamwork!

day six: wedding.day

Then the wedding day. It was different and special. I am so thankful we were all able to be there to celebrate my sister and her husband, whom we adore.

The quick recap is that the wedding had to be moved last minute from outside at a house to inside at a restaurant, due to the pouring down rain. It was also moved from 2:00pm to 2:30pm. Some people got the memo and some did not. Steph and I arrive an hour before to "help" redo the flowers only to find out that the florist bringing the flowers had already undone some of our arrangements from the day before (yikes!). Oh, and the restaurant wasn't even remotely ready to house 70+ people. So, in our dresses, we start moving furniture like mad women, creating a dance floor, arranging flowers, hunting down candles, lighting them, creating a cake table, helping the sound guy wire the place for the ceremony, help the photographer get settled, and even playing hostess for guests who arrived early and wanted some...um, tea. All in an hour. Yeah. We had no idea what Alicia wanted but we were just in wedding mode and I think it all turned out nicely in the end. Whew.

There are so many other details but we'll just have to talk about those on the phone. Too much to capture in words and for some things, well, there just aren't words. It was beautiful.

last day: wine.

David and I spent the last day of our trip extravaganza in Santa Barbara for some wine tasting. Perfect timing, I must say. Mom and Dad kindly watched the kiddos and I'm not sure who had more fun. We were able to be with Steph and her David for the first half and then we broke off for our own couple dinner before returning a few hours later to our NoHo destination (while Steph and her David stayed a few extra days to celebrate their one year anniversary).

A ton going on here. Are you still trekking?

Driving away from Santa Barbara, this is what we saw. Amazing. Sigh. After the craziest trip ever - we remain so thankful for an opportunity to get away, regain perspective, and well - to make a ton of memories.

THE END!!!

CA: day three.

day three. vacation

Why does it take so long to feel like you are on vacation sometimes? Well, by day three, we finally settled into our vacation. It was pretty much the only one (except the last day for David and I) and we enjoyed it thoroughly. We woke up and saw this from our balcony. Yikes.

Then the weather turned out like this - perfect for our day of exploring La Jolla on foot (& stroller).

La Jolla is a darling and picturesque town. Fabulous restaurants. Vintage and boutique alike. Breathtaking ocean views from the cove...and from our motel, doncha know. Grin.

For lunch we stopped at this legendary place. I just love how they have kept the old with the new.

Then we hurried back down to the ocean for some great outdoor time. I love this pic of Kate just soaking in a view that we rarely get to see: ocean and endless skies.

Then we strolled around a bit to observe the many harbor seals parked on the beach napping. Quite a strange and comical site. There were probably one hundred of them. Not kidding. They reminded us of Wesley James - well, the pre-crawling Wesley James - who could only lay on his belly and flap his arms and legs around. Laugh.

Then Kate spent the next three hours - not kidding - just running.

Running in grass.

Running to catch birds.

Running.

Only breaking to ... climb trees, of course.

You think this NYC girl was excited to be outside in nature for a change?! Yep - just like her momma. We soaked it all in and loved every minute.

I took advantage of the time with happy kids to snap some photos. Here are a few of my favorites.

Thanks, La Jolla, for a MUCH needed day of rest and laughter.