Here are some answers to questions we get a lot from raising a family in New York City. I'll be adding to them a little at a time. If you have others, I would love to hear them and include them here. Ask away! (Email: shawna.ny@gmail.com)
1. Q: How do you do it with kids in the City, without Mother's Day Out, without a car, without a lot of space, without Chick fil' A, without a yard, without your family?
A: Two things: 1) Our church community and 2) Take it one day at a time and ... pray. A lot. And cry, sometimes. And laugh, even more. We have learned that we really don't need the things that we think we do in order to live a full life. Of course it depends what "full" means to you. We do, however, need community. We are called to live in and to be community. With that said, I would be lying if I said I am completely content. My heart battles the wants and desires that come in living in a consumeristic, self-sufficient, entitlement culture.
Space: We are extremely blessed to live in an apartment that provides us more space then we had the past seven years. So, currently space does not feel like the primary concern. Our kids share a room and it's fine. It's plenty. It's more than enough.
Food: Chick fil' A is actually here in the City - down at NYU in the student building. It's not a full menu and I haven't tried going yet and acting like a student with my two kiddos, but it is on my bucket list this summer. Chipotle is also here, and that is a close second for some quick southern comfort food after a stressful day. We are *trying* to make radical changes to the way we eat, and I am thankful after 9 years that we aren't closer to my favorite Southern restaurants - I don't know if I would have the discipline to not enjoy them regularly.
With two kids - I miss a backyard (my #2). But... I miss family the very most. It inexplicably tears my heart outwith every goodbye and I often ask God if life really was meant to live in distance to those whom we love and love us most on this earth. The answer remains - do I value Christ more? If I do, and if this is where He wants us to be, then I trust Him. Even through tears. There is much provision in the video chat function of our computer and we are blessed to be able to travel to see family as much as possible. We really can't complain, but it's a daily battle for me here. Ain't gonna lie.
2. Q: How do you get your groceries?
A: As with most things in New York, in some ways it's super convenient and in some ways it's a bit complex. There is a market for everything, so you are never wanting for anything. Even Rotel. Oh, happy day when I found that in the City! For the bulk of our groceries it's no different than where you may go. We go to Costco - which is now in the City - at least once a month and stock up on the paper goods and meats. We ride the bus up $2 (via Metrocard) to Harlem and get a car service and a driver to take us home for $12.
I am a fan of Fresh Direct - an online grocer - who delivers everything to your door for $5. For the everyday, fill-in-the-gaps groceries, I go across the street to a regular grocery store or to my favorite health food store five blocks north and if I can't carry it on the stroller with the kids, then I just have it delivered for a tip. Not bad, I say.
This summer, we are apart of a local farm co-op, so I am looking forward to getting our farm-fresh organic veggies again. I walk two blocks north and pick them up outside on the sidewalk and sling them over the stroller and walk it back home. Kate loves getting to go with me. Our version of a "garden", I suppose.
3. Q: How do you do your laundry?
A: For those unfamiliar with NYC living, most apartments don't have a washer or a dryer. Some don't even have a dishwasher. Thankfully we have one - and I don't take that for granted. For laundry, we are also fortunate to have several laundry machines in our building, down in the basement. However, after many stressful attempts to get enough quarters ($2 per load), get our wagon full of clothes into an elevator with two kids - one either in a carrier or in the stroller, get the laundry in time to transfer it from the washer into the dryer before a neighbor yells at you, we have decided to budget for sending it out occasionally when time does not allow for another option.
I call a nice asian man and say "laundry pick-up"! He says "OK, thirty minutes". Sure enough, he shows up, picks up our bags of laundry and/or dry cleaning. Takes them away and in a day brings them back, folded and cleaned and it is true bliss. And, that's how we do it.
Sure, occasionally you can't find one of your black socks or you end up with additional shirt or the thought of someone else cleaning your underwear is a bit unsettling, but after you try the alternative with two kids - especially on a hot summer's day - you quickly get over it and are just so thankful. We even send them with our own dye-free detergent and it's quite possibly one of my favorite things about this place.
We are currently in a season of cutting back and so, even with our elevator currently out for a few months, David has sacrificially been our main laundry man. It's just nice to have options when you never know what a week may bring!
Oh - how I miss having a laundry machine in my apartment!
4. Q: So, what's up with your church?
A: Many of you hear that while we came to New York initially because David had a good job, we have come to realize over the past 8 years, that the Lord brought us up here to change our hearts and our minds and to develop a real passion for the local church and to see the gospel flourish in the City.
After a year and a half of not having a church home in what seemed to be - a foreign land - my dad called and informed me that a friend Pastor was moving up from Texas to start a church. We met with he and his wife and inquired about their vision for the church and for the City and felt a real peace and excitement about partnering with them on this mission to church plant in NYC.
Six years ago, Apostles Church (then Manhattan Christian Church) started with only 11 of us in the living room of our Pastor. Through much prayer and change and time and faithful obedience, a few weeks ago - we combined both our morning and evening services to see over 450 people now regular attenders of Apostles Church.
It's not about the numbers to me. But, God has taught us much about perseverance for the gospel and how much He is working on saving a broken world with the redeeming message of the gospel.
It is humbling to know that God would bring us here to be part of His movement to redeem and restore this City with the message and mercy of Christ and that despite my grumblings and complaints over the years, that He allowed us to still be here and to see what He is doing in the lives of those here.
Want to find out more about Apostles? Check it out: www.apostlesnyc.com.
