Time Away

As some of you know, the past few months have been the most difficult for David and I in terms of our marriage. I have found myself sinking more and more into a place of conviction how I expect things to be all about me. (which doesn't work, by the way - ha.) God has so graciously shown me these areas - ugly as they may be. I am thankful for that and am definitely still working though it. Expectations and all. The stresses of life have bogged down our joyfulness in our marriage and even our joyfulness in Christ from time to time these last few months. 

In his book, Love and Respect by Dr. Eggerichs, he talks about certain cycles we find ourselves in within our marriage or any relationship, for that matter. There is a destructive cycle and a healing cycle. I really feel like we are back onto a healing cycle after spending an ample amount of time on the destructive and well, just plain lazy and distracted side. Maybe you can relate.

Why am I sharing this with you? I covet your prayers.

We are taking our first trip next week together, sans Kate. We leave on Saturday for Belize. Random? Yes, kind of. We wanted a place where we can really feel like we are "getting away" and where we can really just focus on each other. I cannot tell you how excited I am for this trip, but am also finding myself increasingly nervous and somewhat apprehensive.

For those of you who feel led, please pray for us this week. Pray that it would be a true and honest re-connection for David and I. Pray that it would be fun. Pray that God would protect us as we cross borders and enter into unfamiliar territory. Pray for my mom and for Kate as they brave out the City together while we are gone. Pray for God to continue to reveal things to me and continue to break down walls as I seek to be a better wife and mother. 

Last night as David and I were going through our will, I just broke down. It is so hard to think about a "plan" if we do not come back from this trip. What will happen to Kate? Who will take care of her? I was overcome with feelings of "what if" and a sinking feeling of what if these are my last days with Kate. I have noticed myself being extra clingy with her this week. I have played more with her on her level. I have hugged and kissed her more. I have been more patient, all because I know I am about to leave her for a while and she will not understand where I am going or for how long or why. 

It has been an interesting reminder for me as to the urgency with which we live when we remember that we are not guaranteed tomorrow. I pray that urgency remains long after we are back and that God show His grace to all of us while we are away. I pray that I don't let this uncertainty affect my faith and take away from the fun and joy of this trip, but that it will do the opposite...allow my faith to be strengthened in a way that it has not been before.

If you have ever left your babies for a trip...feel free to share some "advice"....I think I need it. :) Thanks, friends. Thank you for letting me call on you for prayer.