Fill 'R Up

Over the last few weeks you could have heard these words come out of my mouth. 

"I feel like I don't have anything left to give."

"I feel so empty right now."

"I don't know how to keep going."

"There seems to be no end in sight."

"I am so tired."

"I really feel alone."

While you may be ready to sign me up for the suicide hotline, you can rest easy because I really am fine, thanks be to God. Don't you feel like you go through moments in life that if anyone heard what you were really saying to yourself or aloud to your spouse, that you would be completely embarrassed? Ashamed? In awe, that this was really you saying these phrases?

Well, I just admitted this on the World Wide Web. Nice. 

I say this because over the last few weeks God has been teaching me new truths in His word that have carried me through and thought I would share some with you. How funny when I feel like I can't give any more to friends going through things or to my husband or to Kate, I use the excuse that it's because I haven't been filled up enough to "overflow" to them. I put all of the focus back on me. Of course, I know the Sunday School answer that I should be getting all of my needs met through Christ. But, what does that really mean? How does that really make me feel better when I just feel alone? 

Back to the Word.  

"For IN HIM the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, and you have been FILLED in him, who is the head of all rule and authority." Colossians 2:9

It is not I who needs to be waiting for my daughter to praise my efforts of parenting or for my husband to just do more or for a friend to show she cares at the right moment. I am already filled before any of these things happen or REGARDLESS of these things happening at any time. Wow. This is one truth that we all need to repeat to ourselves daily, right?

Yesterday was the Sunday that we visit a nursing home nearby and help lead a worship service with a body of volunteers and believers. I usually don't go with the thought that I need to hear what is said because I am there for them, but this Sunday was different. The chaplain talked about Jesus feeding the thousands with just a few loaves of bread and fishes. He talked about how God held the food above the crowds and broke them with his two hands (as seen in Matt 14:13-21) and then told his disciples to do the same and share with the people. 

He brought up an interesting thought. The traditional way of interpreting this story is to imagine God multiplying the food in a quantity large enough to feed five thousand. We know He can do it, so that is definitely a possible one. However, the chaplain talked about the possibility of Jesus just "teaching" us how to feed one another with very little - whatever we have. Maybe, just maybe His "breaking of bread and fish" was a way of showing us how we can share with each other no matter how little we have and in turn feed and serve one another. Something to ponder. 

Either way, he left us with a thought that has stuck with me. He reiterated that when we give out of lack we feel it more than when we give out of abundance. For me, that really hit home. I needed to hear that. Take that with you this week. 

Wives - continue serving and honoring your husbands regardless of expectation.

Moms - continue praising and engaging your children regardless of the hour or length of day.

Friends - continue encouraging and investing in each other regardless of busy schedules.

Colleagues - continue working as if for an eternal purpose and not for man.

Daughters/Sons - continue thanking your parents regardless of your feelings or disappointments along the way.

We can continue because of Christ's sufficiency. We can. Now let's keep going. You HAVE already been filled.