No, Thank You

Kate and I went into Barnes & Noble this afternoon on our way home from running a few errands. When I say "running", I mean that literally. We don't drive (obviously), and it was raining, so I was literally in a slight trot to and from places dodging people's heels left and right. 

I parked the stroller in the designated area. I made our book selections and we were on our way to find reading space on the floor, when a woman said loudly, "Oh - she is adorable!" Of course, I smile like any proud parent and instead of saying, "I know" (like I was thinking), I smiled cordially and said, "Thank you". She continued to ask how old she was and I answered p0litely. Then she asked about my plans for her birthday party and what books we were reading. At this point, I am like...enough already, let me enjoy this quality time with my daughter and you can focus on yours.

I sat down. Evidently I did not sit down far enough away, because she makes her way over to me - in my personal space, might I add. I mean, she is sitting right in front of me and Kate looking at me eye to eye. Odd.  At first I thought she was just an obnoxious grandmother that was lonely and there with her granddaughter and then I realized she had an ulterior motive. 

She asks, "Are you the mommy or the helper?" [glancing down at my wedding ring]

I answer. 

"Well, do you have any help?"

"No, I am a full-time mom." 

"You do know that it's helpful if children are with someone else periodically."

"Yes, I do know that. [Why does everyone always feel the need to tell me this?] I have been using someone one day a week for a few hours."

"Well, that's what I do."

"Oh, really?" [Thinking - No, thank you.]  At which point, a girl around 5 years old peeks around the corner with a book to read. She tells her to hold one a second because she is talking with me. Nice. 

To make a long story short. I was able to get her out of my way by taking her name and number for consideration to be my "one-day-a-week helper". When I didn't have paper, she took a journal from a shelf nearby and ripped a page out. What!? Nice. 

She continues to point out how she is great with children and has so many references. She even points to her muppet sweatshirt she is wearing and continues to go on and on about how much she loves children. I must say the girl with her was darling.

I ask her if she has any of her own. 

"No", she answers, "I just love playing with others". 

No, thank you. You won't leave me alone. You are ignoring your own "responsibility" while you are trying to get my business. You have a not-attractive muppet sweatshirt on from the 80's to look the part, evidently. You just ruined a perfectly nice journal that you should really buy now. You are way too close in my personal space. You are taking up time from Kate that I could be spending focused on her. 

No, thank you!