Time Away

As some of you know, the past few months have been the most difficult for David and I in terms of our marriage. I have found myself sinking more and more into a place of conviction how I expect things to be all about me. (which doesn't work, by the way - ha.) God has so graciously shown me these areas - ugly as they may be. I am thankful for that and am definitely still working though it. Expectations and all. The stresses of life have bogged down our joyfulness in our marriage and even our joyfulness in Christ from time to time these last few months. 

In his book, Love and Respect by Dr. Eggerichs, he talks about certain cycles we find ourselves in within our marriage or any relationship, for that matter. There is a destructive cycle and a healing cycle. I really feel like we are back onto a healing cycle after spending an ample amount of time on the destructive and well, just plain lazy and distracted side. Maybe you can relate.

Why am I sharing this with you? I covet your prayers.

We are taking our first trip next week together, sans Kate. We leave on Saturday for Belize. Random? Yes, kind of. We wanted a place where we can really feel like we are "getting away" and where we can really just focus on each other. I cannot tell you how excited I am for this trip, but am also finding myself increasingly nervous and somewhat apprehensive.

For those of you who feel led, please pray for us this week. Pray that it would be a true and honest re-connection for David and I. Pray that it would be fun. Pray that God would protect us as we cross borders and enter into unfamiliar territory. Pray for my mom and for Kate as they brave out the City together while we are gone. Pray for God to continue to reveal things to me and continue to break down walls as I seek to be a better wife and mother. 

Last night as David and I were going through our will, I just broke down. It is so hard to think about a "plan" if we do not come back from this trip. What will happen to Kate? Who will take care of her? I was overcome with feelings of "what if" and a sinking feeling of what if these are my last days with Kate. I have noticed myself being extra clingy with her this week. I have played more with her on her level. I have hugged and kissed her more. I have been more patient, all because I know I am about to leave her for a while and she will not understand where I am going or for how long or why. 

It has been an interesting reminder for me as to the urgency with which we live when we remember that we are not guaranteed tomorrow. I pray that urgency remains long after we are back and that God show His grace to all of us while we are away. I pray that I don't let this uncertainty affect my faith and take away from the fun and joy of this trip, but that it will do the opposite...allow my faith to be strengthened in a way that it has not been before.

If you have ever left your babies for a trip...feel free to share some "advice"....I think I need it. :) Thanks, friends. Thank you for letting me call on you for prayer.

Par-tay!

David turned 30 on Sunday and we had a lovely family picnic outside on our patio. He had to go on a "hunt" for his gifts. Then, David's brother, Dan and his girlfriend, Ashley came over that night for David's birthday dinner request: steak, butternut squash soup, and creamed spinach. Ashley even brought over Crumbs cupcakes. No celebration is complete without them in my book. 

Little did he know that the very next night, we would have about 20 people over to really celebrate him! He came home from work and opened his "last" present. The invitation I had sent out a few weeks before. He got ready and friends starting showing up. Perfect. We did it! A true surprise.

We had our dear friends over and played games and had such a great time honoring David. One of the fun games was modeled around "Two truths and a lie". Hysterical. Then, I asked each person to think of a word they would use to describe him and we went around the circle each sharing what he means to us. Truly an amazing time of honoring and encouraging the man that David is to so many of us. 

Here are a few that were shared Monday night. 

* Steadfast

* Role Model

* Leader

* Wise

* Funny

* Brother

* Diligent

* Humorous

* Responsible

* Consistent

* Genuine

* Integrity

I am so honored to be married to this man.

If any of you who weren't able to be with us have a word that comes to mind when you think of David, feel free to share here. 

Two tips that I have for every party planner out there: 

1) make some and cater some,    and then

2) have someone there just to help serve and clean up (and even put your child to bed). 

It will make the party that much more enjoyable for you and save you a ton of time for the more important things. I am so glad I did. 

And, finally, here are the pics from his birthday festivities. Enjoy!

The Countess

Have any of you ever watched an episode (or two) of the Real Housewives of New York City?

Well, I have seen a few myself, if I'm being completely honest, and do not think that it is a fair representation of the REAL housewives in NYC. Or, maybe it is and I am just in the super minority. Either way - it's hard for me to relate to how they mother, and shop, and travel to their summer home in the Hamptons, and have their driver take them across the park for their morning yoga sessions, and how they manage their three nannies. 

I was walking home from Bloomingdales today - doing a little birthday shopping for my husband who turns 30 on Sunday - doncha know. I was two blocks from my apartment and about to turn the corner and who is on the street corner just chatting away with her "friends"? The Countess. 

LuAnn de Lesseps. You should read her bio. Are you kidding me? The de Lesseps are the ones from "gave" the Statue of Liberty to New York City, of course. I mean, hello!? Oh please. 

Anyway - I have nothing major to say other than that she looked thinner in real life than on TV and she was sporting some nice "nude color" Fall knee-high boots with a darling little dress. Seemed as normal as can be on the sidewalk chatting it up, but after seeing her on the show...I know better. 

Just another fun "TV personality" sighting in New York I had to share with you. 

Just Like Mommy

Kate is in the "copy cat" stage. She is copying everything. It's probably good that the main words she says now are "mama, dada, 'da' - give her five, all done, ball, 'wa' for 1, two, 'peez', and cheese rather than every word she hears from us. But, she really is copying everything else. 

She brushes her hair. She loves putting on a bracelet and a necklace already. She even pulled up her "booster chair" to sit and watch Baby Einstein while I was cooking dinner.

Amazing that this starts so young. 

Well, today I made a purchase. Kate got her first baby doll stroller. She loves it. She is so proud of it. She even bent down and kissed the baby doll and then pushed her around the house and outside. It made me so happy. She is already a good little mommy. :)

Here are a few others from the week. 

Kate and her best girlfriend, Louise, sitting in each others laps. Of course it only lasted one second, but I was able to capture it. Too cute. Louise is the one moving to Westchester. :(

My little turtle.

My little bunny. I love that she knows to just walk up and say "cheese" b/c Momma is going to take a picture. :) 

 

Bed head. She just woke up from a nap...and her hair, well, looked like this. Her expression says it all! 

Lastly, for a little laugh...here is Kate's "plumber" shot. Nice, baby. I hope this isn't a "just like mommy" pose. :)

Volatility

It happens, you know. Volatility. The changing of the tides. The ins and the outs. The comings and the goings. It's inevitable. Lately, we as a family have been feeling the affects of that change more than we can ever remember feeling it before. Maybe you can relate.

Kate is super fussy one day. The next, the sweetest thing you've ever seen. One minute, she resembles more of a 2 year old squirming out of our hands and the next, a baby who just wants to be loved and cuddled and held. 

Friends move into the City and we enter into new friendships. We rejoice. In fact, dear friends told us just last week that they have put an application on the apartment next to us and we could be neighbors. How delightful! So perfect. Then, on the heels of that great news, I received an email from a friend who has put an offer down on a house in Westchester. They are moving. We mourn. But, wait! This is Kate's only friend her age. You can't leave! I cried. I was surprised by my reaction, but I cried. 

It made me realize my own influx of emotion regarding New York. One week it is a place I never want to leave, because of all that it offers. The next, a place I could leave in a heart beat for the promises of family, friends, comfortable living, convenience, and space. 

Our marriage. One day it is on track and loving as God intended it to be. Selfless and giving. Compassionate and kind. The next, self-seeking and spiteful and even bitter at times. Ugly. 

Our world. We are reminded of how much good is out there and how much organizations and individuals alike are doing to help make a difference. Then, we focus on one country, Africa, or one injustice, sex slavery, and we sink back down into an overwhelming pit of agony and despair. 

How our emotions change. How our perspective shifts. How our affections alter. 

Thankfully, I serve a God who does not change. (Malachi 3:6) A God who does not change His mind. (Numbers 23:19) He is the only thing, the only one who does not change. Friends, He is the SAME yesterday, today and forever. (Hebrews 13:8) 

What a comfort during these times of earthly disasters, economic downfall, and social injustice. He is the same. He does not change. 

I will end with a "guest blog" from my husband. He sent this to me this morning after watching the markets plummet yet again and watching another strong financial institution disappear. Just like that.

**********************************************************************************

"It is a very surreal day as I watch the prices of stocks that seem to have entered a precipitous freefall over the weekend on their way to becoming worthless coupled with devastating aftermath of Hurricane Ike throughout the Southern states.  I can see how a wave of depression and helplessness will be sweeping over the lives of many as they see the work of their hands taken away by an event outside of their control.  With this loss many will be stripped of the security and foundation that their lives have rested upon for so long.  To me, this time serves as a very strong reminder that one who has everything and Christ, has no more than one who has nothing and Christ.  I can only imagine the conversations/emotions/fears that are welling up in the hearts of so many around the world:

What about our future…? 
How will we get by...?
What do we do now...? 

While today may end up being one of the most chaotic days in the market in recent history and be some of the toughest days for families that return home to find that home is no longer there to return to, I am reminded that our peace, comfort and security is not in our possessions, stock prices, retirement accounts, knowledge or strength, but in Christ.  Let us hold fast to that promise amidst the volatility and turbulence in our lives knowing that He holds everything together by his spoken word.  May we be in prayer for those who are enduring these difficult times that they too may find peace in Christ and that their joy may be filled by the everlasting and eternal God which does not change and is above all things."

Peace

Sirens. Planes. The unexpected. Tragedy. Fire. Loss. Questions. Pain. Trust. Christ. Peace. 

"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Philipians 4:7

Thoughts from the Morning

Some thoughts from the morning. 

1. I am still not in shape. I try to go the gym a few times a week and one of those days I take a Total Body Conditioning class. It was a killer again this morning and it amazes me that I still struggle in there, though it's a good thing I guess, after months of taking the same class with the same weights. Kind of frustrating though too. 

2. Next time when I leave the apartment for a specific destination, I will write down the address so that I don't get stuck outside on the street in the middle of a downpour trying to figure out where Kate's class is located. 

3. Kate is still a little young for story time. She loves the books and listens to the story, but wants to continually walk up to the book and touch all of the illustrations - especially the animals - in the book. Which is OK, unless you have a nanny or two who are "put out" that she keeps walking up there. Oh - please. Get over it. 

4. After story time, there were bubbles. Note to self: Anything with bubbles makes Kate happy. She was so mesmerized with them that she didn't even notice when Clifford the BIG Red Dog came out to greet all of the kids. He was standing next to her for like 3 minutes before she even noticed this big red furry thing stretching up almost to the ceiling. It was kind of funny to watch her reaction when she finally did notice him. 

5. During the song and dance time, the Alphabet song was sung with a twist. Literally. The 3 singers were dancing and moving and singing a word for each letter. They got to 'X' and said EXERCISE. Don't know about you, but it was a little disturbing to me. From what I remember it doesn't start with 'X'. Don't think I'll be signing Kate up for this class this year. 

6. The woman/celebrity reading the story is a supermodel, television personality, author, clothing designer, yada yada yada. Her name is Emme. A beautiful woman - inside and out and a lovely and kind person. She was the first full figured model to have a contract with Revlon and has been on every show imaginable and, in addition to a hundred zillion other things, is the Chair Ambassador of the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA). However, it struck me as funny that her children's book she wrote is entitled, "What Are You Hungry For?" and is about children eating all of the most unhealthy foods (pizza, hot dogs, fried chicken, corn, hamburgers, etc.). I guess she is not the spokesperson yet for childhood obesity. However, the message is good, because she is making the point that really children are just hungry for love. We now have a signed copy. Joy!

7. On the 10th day of South Beach, I go into a craving spell and crave anything and everything unhealthy evidently. I only have a few more days to go of 'no carbs' and then can start having whole grains, etc., but today is brutal for me for some reason. 

8. I am making an antipasto platter for lunch and I noticed on the salami package that it is good until April 14, 2009!!! That is frightening. Does that mean it will be alive in me until that time? Maybe I'll just pass this time and stick with the turkey and ham. Thanks. 

9. Rainy days are great for reading books. I'm in the middle of Kite Runner and think I'll go revisit it now while Kate is napping with some coffee. Ahh - yes. 

10. Blogs are a great way of capturing your thoughts. I feel better already.