Reflections and Memories

I am really not someone who freaks out about birthdays or wishes they never came. I love birthdays. My family always made a big deal of them growing up (complete with the birthday banner) and I love that, and so David and I continue to celebrate them as they should be celebrated...because they are all a big deal...to me. 

So, this birthday, being that it was my 30th - could have had a lot of expectations and pressure and yet I didn't know what to feel. It was surreal that I was going to be leaving my 20's behind, but I was ready. I really am thankful for all that I experienced in them. I wasn't going to be with my family or see any of my friends, so in a way, I was a little down when I thought about my birthday this year. OK, kind of a lot down. 

Little did I know, this would be one of the best birthdays I've ever had because of it's meaningfulness and because of the thoughtfulness of my husband and the words of those closest to me. Most of you know, because many of you participated in such a significant way this year to make my birthday incredibly unique and special. 

When I woke up, David had placed about 50 cards all over our apartment. Literally everywhere I looked I could see one "hidden". There were instructions to not open them until he got home from work (around noon). He was going to order me breakfast, but I ended up meeting Ginger for my favorite scones at Alice's Tea Cup with our girls. It was a perfect way to begin a birthday. Snowing outside. Tea and scones with one of my dear friends. Loved it. 

Then, David met me at home and I was able to open my "gifts". Every hour from noon until midnight, I opened 4 cards from my sweet friends. On those pages, were the words from my friends yet in my husbands handwriting. He took the time to hand write every word on every card and hide them. Most of them stuck to his rule of "30 words or less" and they were some of the most touching and humbling words I have ever read. 

Then every once in a while he would have a small gift tucked away from him and a picture of words that accompanied it. 30 of the most memorable restaurants we've been to, 30 of the most memorable things we've done in New York, 30 of the places we've traveled to together, 30 of the things "to come" in the next thirty years, etc. I could go on and on. 

Then, I received so many kind messages and calls and surprises from others. A friend's husband stopped by to bring Magnolia Bakery cupcakes, as his wife was out of town. Uh - yum. Flowers arrived from my parents. Beautiful. Courtney sent me super fun slippers and darling note cards. Modeled here, along with Kate, of course.  She had to get in the picture too! :) 

David made me an incredible candlelit steak dinner and bought me Carnegie Deli cheesecake, which is my favorite of all time. 

Then Friday night, we continued to celebrate with a dinner date night at Butter, a restaurant by a well-known chef that we've been wanting to try. It was amazing. 

This quote from my husband really summarizes my feelings about this birthday. He said, "I thought hearing how you've impacted people for the past 30 years and remembering all that you've experienced would bring so much more fulfillment than any material gift." Oh he is so right. He so knows me and I so love him for that. What an incredible birthday it was. What an amazing 30 more years it will be...I can't wait! 

Thank you, to everyone who helped make this day special with your words, your encouragement, your prayers and your memories. Thank you to my husband who did not let one minute of my birthday go by without a thoughtful word, prayer, thought, or action. I will never be able to express how much it all meant to me. It helped create a true day of celebration in a way I have never experienced before. A day of peace. A day of humility. A day of contentment. A day of pure gratitude. A day of so many tears. A day of reflection. A day of memories. 

God, thank you...

My God, my Creator, thank you. 

Thank you that I have experienced true love. The young, giddy, naive love and the mature unconditional love. Love that expresses itself in the written word and love that could never be explained in human terms. 

Thank you, Father, that you have allowed me to experience the undying love of a mom and dad. A mother who has held my hand for thirty years and reminded me to keep walking even when I couldn't remember how to put the next foot forward . A father, who has so exemplified God's grace in the way that he always put us first and reminded me to follow your leading first and foremost.

Thank you for so divinely allowing David and I to meet and commit to the ultimate act of love and holiness. Thank you for teaching me so much more about you through him. Thank you that I have been able to learn through his actions and his words and his intentions and his ideas and his dreams and watch as they all point back to you. 

Thank you, Savior, for your grace in allowing me to be a mother. As I watch her copy my every move and word, what a weighty responsibility I know and the highest honor I feel. Thank you for giving her to us to raise as a daily reminder of your provision for us, your children. Thank you for what you have already taught me through her and all that she represents. 

Thank you for friends. Friends that I have known since childhood days in elementary school. Friends that have carried me through life in more ways than most will ever know. Thank you for friends who know me. For those who impact me with the way they are committed to you above all. Thank you for friends who make me laugh. For those who love me despite my failures and distance. Thank you for our sweet memories. Thank you for the fullness of life that they have added to mine. 

Thank you that I have danced in the rain, played in the snow, felt the warmest sun, and smelled the most fragrant flowers. Thank you that I have climbed majestic mountains and that I have rafted through white rapids and hiked rain forests. Thank you for the places you have allowed me to see and those in which you have called for me to live and invest. 

Thank you for a full life. Thank you for an abundant life and for the fulfillment of the life you promise through your Son. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for loving me so much that you would take everything comfortable away from me for a time because you knew it would bring greater contentment and fulfillment and joy in the long run. 

Thank you for the ways you have pruned those things that I have held tightest to, so that I might depend on you that much more. Thank you for the times when I have felt most alone so that I would cling to you and trust in you that much more. Thank you for forgiveness. Thank you for reconciliation through the cross. Thank you for being patient with me as I still have so far to go. 

Thank you, God. Thank you for these thirty years. Thank you for all that you have allowed me to experience. Thank you for those you have brought in my life to teach me, guide me, encourage me, disciple me, love me. Thank you, Father.

Merry Christmas!

We leave today for our Texas Christmas vacation. Wanted to wish you all a very special time with friends and family and remembering all that Christ's coming represents. 

Here are some pictures of our family that we had taken in Central Park by our sweet and talented friend, Katy. See you in the new year! 

Pic of a Pic

Threads (Pottery Barn Kid's clothing store) happens to be a dangerous block from our apartment. I love all of the classic children's clothes that they sell, so it is also a place I go for gifts. One day last month I went to buy some gifts and they were running a promotional deal. For a certain amount of money spent, you would receive a free photo shoot and a free 8x10 picture of your child. I was going to buy these gifts anyway, so...OK, sign me up! 

We went in the next week with Kate's Christmas dress and I was pretty pleased with our FREE 8x10! Of course, I had to take a picture of the picture so that you could see it, but you get the idea. Pretty cute, eh? 

And, no I was not going to the be the sucker that paid $40 for 4 wallets. 

The thought did cross my mind that I could be like the people on Canal Street and crop this picture of a picture just right and then use it as our Christmas card picture, but then I decided that wouldn't be the most honest thing to do. So, just enjoy the pic of a pic.

Turning a Corner

Friends, I think we have turned a corner. 

Kate's fever has broken as of today. Her eyes are still both swollen and she still looks like she got in a pretty bad fight, but she has more energy and I think we are almost over this craziness. Thank you for all of your comments and advice and encouragement. Sigh. 

David is back at work. I am going to Lysol this place to death, I tell you. I want the satisfaction of killing germs. I did start coughing and have a sore throat, but I am not giving any energy to that because I am going to enjoy our last week of Christmas in New York -even if it kills me. 

Here is a picture of Kate in the midst of her fever - still trying to make us laugh. Sweet baby girl. I love that about her. By the time I got to my camera -she wasn't laughing anymore, she just needed help out of her contraption.

So, I had to share this with you. I really don't get it. You see my cell phone, so you can tell the size by comparison. Then you see the Motrin bottle that we could not live without this past week. But, see the bottle in the middle? Yes, the tiniest little bottle you've ever seen? 

Well, I thought it was interesting that we paid $45 for that little thing with insurance. I don't know what is in that bottle, but it should pretty much heal anything for that price. I'm estimating it's about$1/ per drop in each eye that should be given 3 times a day for 7 days. Nice.  

Coping

Coping. 

That's what I feel like I have been doing this week, just trying to get by day to day. With David being in San Diego all week, I had prayed up and believed my way through being a "single mom" (who I give the utmost credit and respect to), roughing out the rain each day with homemade meals and gym classes, but I wasn't quite ready for no sleep and a sick baby. Thus, my coping mechanisms set in, once again. 

Yesterday, everything pretty much came to a head. After surviving for 2 days and 2 nights, Kate took a turn for the worse and her fever spiked. She was lethargic. She was cranky, and rightfully so. She was needy and clingy in the worst and yet sweetest ways. This is what the privilege of a stay at home is, I thought. I get to stay with her and just hold her all day. I can take the day off. I can say no to everything else on my to-do list. I can just be hers and give her undivided attention. I do not take that opportunity for granted. Nor, do I ever take for granted my husband who is usually such a wonderful helpmate. I thank God for both, but even still...coping. 

I reached a breaking point mid day and felt that I needed to escape. Without help or other answers, I chose a homemade spa treatment (a.k.a shower) while Kate napped.  A long shower. The steamy kind that just lets the water run, wastefully, because it allows me to not be in reality for a few extra minutes. I had a facial (exfoliate and moisturize), washed my hair AND shaved. That is how you know it was a good shower. Most days, I have to alternate for time. You get the picture. 

I get out of the shower and have a spa lunch (i.e. leftovers) with my mom (on the phone while desperately asking for advice). Kate wakes up worse than when she went down. OK, next on the coping list is...

Baby Einstein. Every Sesame Street episode on our DVR. You want the pacifier all day, every second? Fine by me. Apple juice instead of water? Go ahead. Baby Einstein again and again? My pleasure. 7pm comes. Kate falls asleep in the middle of an Einstein video on the orchestra instruments. I have to admit, it was a bit calming, even for me. I lay her down, buy a girl movie and start wrapping presents. Back to my "feel good", to-do, festive coping list. 

Kate cries. Sounds awful. 9pm now. Kate cries and coughs. 10pm. She is 102.8. 

OK, time for drastic measures. Cool washcloths out. Minimal clothing. Call into the doctor - twice. What coping mechanism can work now? Just praying my way through it...alone. Trying not to break down on the phone with the doctor as he tells me to give her Children's Motrin, which I don't have, as I stare outside at the pouring down rain, alone. 

The worst part was I had to pee so badly while holding Kate and waiting for the doctor to call. I couldn't go because I couldn't just lay her down and I was afraid the doctor would call right when I went into the bathroom. Sigh. I don't know how those single moms do it. Seriously. 

As God would have it, our dear friends just moved next door in our same building and I was able to have Sarah stop by and get Motrin for me on her way home from a Christmas party. Dear, dear friend. She even bought some Popsicles. Now, that is a good mom and friend. 

Popsicles at midnight? Why not. Anything goes today. Sleep with me? On me? All night? No problem. Bless her heart. 

David got back on a red eye at 6AM this morning, sick as well. We made it to the Dr. for some meds that her ear infection, cold (in the head and eye) and her teeth coming in so deservingly warrant. Christmas plans cancelled today. Date night and birthday party cancelled. Sesame Street is on again. No problem. We will get through this.  But, first, think I need to get out to the gym perhaps and ... well, cope a bit. Sigh.

No wait. What's her fever now? 103.4? Oh gosh. Drastic measures again. Coping will have to wait. Cool bathtub. More motrin. Here we go again. Ok, that's better. Now we can move to Kate's first Disney movie, Lady and the Tramp. Now, I'll pray that both my babies feel better and we can move past this week as quickly as it came. 

 

Thanksgiving Memories

I know it's already time for Christmas, but I have not had a chance to sit and write about Thanksgiving. So, bear with me. 

This year for Thanksgiving I will remember...

1. My family of 8 operating pretty much out of one car for the entire time.

2. Staying for over 10 nights at David's grandma's house. Bless her heart. 

3. Kate throwing up all night when we were in Rockwall at Allie's house. Sorry, Allie!

4. Making Pumpkin Cheesecake for the first time. Not bad. 

5. 5 of us driving in my grandma's car up to Arkansas to watch Rhett - in freezing cold, rainy weather - beat LSU in the last 2 minutes of the game. Then, drive home with all 6 of us that same night. 

6. Laughing so hard at Kate as she enjoyed performing for family. 

7. Sweet conversations with dear friends that I wished lived closer. 

8. Loving that my entire family was together in one place. 

9. Remembering that even through the difficult times, we still have our laughter and our Savior.

10. The grace and hospitality that David's family showed my family time and time again. 

11. Watching the two sides of our family share a meal. 

12. Date night with my husband. 

13. Trying to get just the right family Christmas picture and watching David try to run like crazy after pressing the self-timer.

14. The new Charlie's angels (Steph, Alicia, and I)

15. Kate experiencing Santa at Northpark

16. Kate getting her new Elmo (from Grandma and PaPaw)

17. Laughing hysterically as Kate identified the two people on the cover of a romance novel as "Uncle" and Auntie".

18. Playing Phase 10 and spades over and over and watching some people "cheat" over and over. 

19. Looking at Kate's "beer belly" after all of the food she had eaten in one day. 

20. Memories, memories and more sweet, unforgettable memories.