That's what I feel like I have been doing this week, just trying to get by day to day. With David being in San Diego all week, I had prayed up and believed my way through being a "single mom" (who I give the utmost credit and respect to), roughing out the rain each day with homemade meals and gym classes, but I wasn't quite ready for no sleep and a sick baby. Thus, my coping mechanisms set in, once again.
Yesterday, everything pretty much came to a head. After surviving for 2 days and 2 nights, Kate took a turn for the worse and her fever spiked. She was lethargic. She was cranky, and rightfully so. She was needy and clingy in the worst and yet sweetest ways. This is what the privilege of a stay at home is, I thought. I get to stay with her and just hold her all day. I can take the day off. I can say no to everything else on my to-do list. I can just be hers and give her undivided attention. I do not take that opportunity for granted. Nor, do I ever take for granted my husband who is usually such a wonderful helpmate. I thank God for both, but even still...coping.
I reached a breaking point mid day and felt that I needed to escape. Without help or other answers, I chose a homemade spa treatment (a.k.a shower) while Kate napped. A long shower. The steamy kind that just lets the water run, wastefully, because it allows me to not be in reality for a few extra minutes. I had a facial (exfoliate and moisturize), washed my hair AND shaved. That is how you know it was a good shower. Most days, I have to alternate for time. You get the picture.
I get out of the shower and have a spa lunch (i.e. leftovers) with my mom (on the phone while desperately asking for advice). Kate wakes up worse than when she went down. OK, next on the coping list is...
Baby Einstein. Every Sesame Street episode on our DVR. You want the pacifier all day, every second? Fine by me. Apple juice instead of water? Go ahead. Baby Einstein again and again? My pleasure. 7pm comes. Kate falls asleep in the middle of an Einstein video on the orchestra instruments. I have to admit, it was a bit calming, even for me. I lay her down, buy a girl movie and start wrapping presents. Back to my "feel good", to-do, festive coping list.
Kate cries. Sounds awful. 9pm now. Kate cries and coughs. 10pm. She is 102.8.
OK, time for drastic measures. Cool washcloths out. Minimal clothing. Call into the doctor - twice. What coping mechanism can work now? Just praying my way through it...alone. Trying not to break down on the phone with the doctor as he tells me to give her Children's Motrin, which I don't have, as I stare outside at the pouring down rain, alone.
The worst part was I had to pee so badly while holding Kate and waiting for the doctor to call. I couldn't go because I couldn't just lay her down and I was afraid the doctor would call right when I went into the bathroom. Sigh. I don't know how those single moms do it. Seriously.
As God would have it, our dear friends just moved next door in our same building and I was able to have Sarah stop by and get Motrin for me on her way home from a Christmas party. Dear, dear friend. She even bought some Popsicles. Now, that is a good mom and friend.
Popsicles at midnight? Why not. Anything goes today. Sleep with me? On me? All night? No problem. Bless her heart.
David got back on a red eye at 6AM this morning, sick as well. We made it to the Dr. for some meds that her ear infection, cold (in the head and eye) and her teeth coming in so deservingly warrant. Christmas plans cancelled today. Date night and birthday party cancelled. Sesame Street is on again. No problem. We will get through this. But, first, think I need to get out to the gym perhaps and ... well, cope a bit. Sigh.
No wait. What's her fever now? 103.4? Oh gosh. Drastic measures again. Coping will have to wait. Cool bathtub. More motrin. Here we go again. Ok, that's better. Now we can move to Kate's first Disney movie, Lady and the Tramp. Now, I'll pray that both my babies feel better and we can move past this week as quickly as it came.
7 comments:
oh no! i am so so sorry!! and i'm sorry i didn't know any of this!
Amanda here (Joshua's sister). I'm so sorry this is going on. Breaks my heart for y'all. I remember being in your shoes not so long ago...only with Veggie Tales keeping Laura soothed.
When Laura has a fever like that, we alternate between Motrin and Tylenol every 2 hours to keep it as low as possible. Ususally, when we do that, her fever gets under control within 24-hrs. Jimmy learned that trick at paramedic school and our pediatrician confirmed that it's 100% a-ok to do. You might want to ask your doctor about doing that for Kate.
I hope everyone feels better soon!
Oh dear :( I wish I could come over and help you!
Oh gosh, and then I called today to talk silly "blast from the past" gossip. So sorry, wish I had known, and I would have called to check on you! :(
Speedy recovery all around.
so so sorry! praying that kate and david heal quickly and that you stay healthy!
Been there- alone- done that- fever, shaking, not the friendliest doctor on call, tears, cuddling. It can be so lonely and so freeing at the same time: the role of motherhood when your husband is away. Just this Thursday night, Benjie was working out of town and Creighton decided to face plant into the coffee table- tears, blood everywhere, me in my jammies with no bra, wondering how to calm him enough to change and get him to the doctor. Luckily, the bleeding stopped quickly and it was just a big, swollen mouth!
I'll keep you in my prayers!
oh dear. oh dear. oh dear.
workin hard for the money my friend. and it sounds like doing a fabulous job.
i remember savannahs first big fever. i broke out the sprite and the movies as well. and a whole cake for me as i remember.
i hope she is better. and you as well.
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