minute cares.

This morning was not a smooth morning for me as a mother. Not one of my finer moments. Nothing major to write about but I responded in a less than holy manner with my daughter over something quite little actually. A minute that could have been a teachable moment for her became all about me and thus, became ugly. I was not sensitive to her. I was frustrated with her. I was not wanting to care for her, I was more focused on the need to fix something and leave. I apologized and I asked for forgiveness, which she gave freely.

I have had a less than positive attitude this week about a hot summer in the City with two highly energetic kids, living in an apartment with no car to just... get out. I confess my ugliness. My pride. My lack of faith and trust in the Big Picture. I breathe in and breathe out a lot these days and am repeating that famous line, "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can" quite often. There are minute cares that we all experience. They might seem trivial in the moment, but I desire to be more aware of them and pray through the minutes rather than just rely on my own strength. Clearly, this morning, I failed. But, thankfully there are many more minutes to this day. As my kids nap and I'm in a cool apartment while it's 100 degrees outside, I reflect.

This passage from Keep a Quiet Heart by Elizabeth Elliot comes to mind. I sit. Weighed by it's reminder. Thankful for more minutes ... and for forgiveness.

"Emily, wife of America's first foreign missionary, Adoniram Judson, wrote home from Moulmein, Burma in January 1847:

'This taking care of teething babies, and teaching natives to darn stockings and talking English back end foremost ... in order to get an eatable dinner, is really a very odd sort of business for Fanny Forester [ her penname - she was a well-known New England writer before marrying Judson] ... But I begin to get reconciled to my minute cares."

She was ambitious for 'higher and better things', but was enabled to learn that 'the person who would do great things well must practice daily on little ones; and she who would have the assistance of the Almighty in important acts, must be daily and hourly accustomed to consult His will in the minor affairs of life.' "