40 days
40 is a familiar time frame throughout the Bible, included in various ways and throughout various stories. One of the first to come to mind is the Exodus, where God so sovereignly and powerfully delivered His people out of the hands of the Egyptians and then led them into the dessert for 40 years as he established a new nation.
The wilderness - a time of searching the heart of God - a time where there aren't a lot of answers. A period marked by many questions and even grumbling on behalf of God's chosen. I can relate to that at certain times in my life, can't you? Even though it's easy to look at the story and wonder how the Israelites could have ever questioned the very one who made their freedom possible, I do the same thing. Grumble. Question.
Well, the number 40 has come up recently in the Sullivan family. Back at the end of 2010, David began to feel like the Lord was leading him to a place of focused prayer and complete dependence. He felt like there were areas in his life that needed more discipline (don't we all!?) and some major things that needed to be laid before the Lord regularly - such as direction for our family, education for our children, and direction for his career. He and our pastor, JR, decided to do a 40 day juice fast together - each for their own reasons - back in January/February.
40 days.
40.Forty.
That's a long time, let me tell you. Not 40 years, but still.
The Lord was so faithful during David's fast. It was a fruitful time for our family overall, but there were definite times of grumbling for me and definite times of overriding selfishness that crept up and just sadness. Sad we weren't sharing meals together. Sad I wasn't able to join or connect with him more through this journey, but my role was equally as important. I was support. I was
encouragement. I was helper. Believe me - I was not all of those things all of the time, but I prayed that the Spirit would give me the ability to support, encourage, help.
I am so proud of my husband. Of his desire to let go of earthly comforts and declare that the Lord is his daily bread. So grateful that the Lord sustained him and revealed areas in both of our lives that need to be released.
Here are some pics from our "break fast" party at the Vassars.
Even now, that 40 number comes up again in our lives as we move into the Lenten season. A season of repentance and redirection. A season marked by reflection and a reorientation closer to God. The question I have been asking myself lately and really praying through is what has gained mastery over my life and is taking up the space where the Lord desires to be fully occupied in its place. There are many areas and I won't share them all here, but one area that keeps coming to mind is my time in the evenings.
I don't know if you can relate, but I see the evenings as MY time. The kids are in bed (hopefully), the dinner has been made and cleaned up, the husband is either engaging in his activity of choice or we are engaging in conversation together. Those hours seem to always last long into the evening and I find that in the morning - after NOT a full night's rest - I am still exhausted. Then I start the cycle over again. I'm tired of being tired. Can I hear an "Amen"!?
In Paul Miller's "The Praying Life", he talks about how what we do in the evening shapes the morning. He refers to Genesis 1 and says, "If you want to pray in the morning, then plan your evening so you don't stay up too late. The evening and morning are connected."
So for Lent, I am making a focused effort to go to bed earlier. To not view the evenings as only my time, but rather as time that I can honor the Lord with by going to bed earlier (by 10pm for me!)and therefore being more alert in the mornings. Sigh. That's tough, but I'm praying the Lord would help me do it over these 40 days and hopefully establish a pattern going forward.
P.S. If this whole talk of the Lenten season is new for you or if you are interested in walking through 40 days of prayer, our church is sending out an email every day to those who subscribe here. It's never too late to join.
