a {life-giving} home

Almost three weeks ago (already?!), on Monday evening, I had the most humbling privilege of sitting in a friend's living room with a remarkable author and woman and mother, Sally Clarkson, along with about 20 other like-minded women.

It was a perfectly intimate gathering: intimate in number and in discussion. A treat of sorts - one that I wish I could save and delight in regularly, but I suppose it's in the rarity of such an event that makes it a treat after all.

We gathered in a sweet friend's lovely life-giving home and enjoyed actual Fall "treats" as well.

Many have asked about our time together. It was such a rich time that brought nourishment to my soul. I literally felt like I was a young child listening to 'The Night Before Christmas' in that hang-on-every-word sort of feeling while Sally talked to us. She was so real and it helped me to put in perspective the various seasons of a mother's heart, while hearing her talk about her own grown children going to college or starting their families.

She encouraged us to use 'GIFTS' as a road map for each day with our children. I also feel like it's a great reminder for our marriages and other relationships.

G-Grace: How can I show them gracious love?

I -Inspiration: Our children (We all) long for something greater than themselves. God has something unique for each person.

F-Foundation of Faith: Your children will watch your life and see whether you live by faith. Faith is not doing everything right, but it's teaching them God does.

T-Teaching: Day in/ Day out instruction; Manners; Internal/External

S- Service: Your children need to practice the act of service alongside of you.

A few of my favorite "take-aways" were:

"What our children desire most from you is time. If you don't spend time with them, they won't be influenced by you."

"You are the conductor of life in your home."

"If there is no content in your soul, then there won't be any content for your children."

"In the absence of Truth, people always follow culture."

Sally also focused on the "life-giving home" - love that concept. So much hope and promise and love represented in that one simple phrase, but, peel back the layers and dive deeper with me and it becomes rather difficult to actually execute and rather convicting. That sort of execution requires me to remain humble, teachable and intentional which also makes me...well, tired if I'm being honest. Tired if I trust in my own strength; inspired if I know the Spirit will lead me and provide what is needed along the way.

So, I started thinking about what sorts of things create life in a home rather than take life out of a home. For me and my family, here are a few things that came to mind.

{Life-giving}:

- having intentional family dinner at least three nights a week - where we sit down only with our family and share and encourage and recap each others days: celebrations and struggles.

- leaving the TV off. really.

- playing instrumental music during the hurried routine of bath time, dinner preparation, dinnertime, and bedtime. helps me remain calm, if I'm being honest.

- saying "no" more often and being very aware of how many commitments we have during the course of a week. we aim to leave at least one night open during the week and on the weekend.

- praying through a homeschooling philosophy of education for many reasons, but also to create

margin in our lives alongside our children to serve and to live and to learn...together.

- committing to a date night each week for David and I. one week it may be a "date night IN" and another a "date night OUT", but we are intentionally setting aside one night a week for just quality conversation and enjoyment with each other sans kids/friends.

- a full night of sleep. it's been a while but as I recall - it's a wonderful thing. :)

- making coffee and playing worship music in the morning as we are getting ready for our day.

- going through my BSF and Community Group bible study prep with David. it not only helps me prepare but also strengthens our spiritual intimacy in marriage. bonus and necessary.

- cooking. David and I both love to cook and EAT (and drink good wine, occasionally) Kate is

also loving the 'baking' these days and I love sharing that with her.

- lighting candles - whenever and for whatever reason. doesn't even need a reason!

- reading. I am trying to do better about carving out time to read rather than just email or talk

- talking to dear friends. It's important to me to have phone conversations with friends walking a similar journey with me. I am trying to be better at this, but I always find more life after a good conversation.

- naps. oh yes.

- a trip to the gym. i know, I'm weird - but, getting out to the gym and getting some sort of work out makes a huge difference for my body and my mind and subsequently, my family. :) that makes me remember i haven't been enough lately.

- looking at pictures of things we have gotten to experience or enjoy. just makes me thankful of all God has allowed us to experience.

- talking and praying with Kate about the things we are thankful for each evening. a good perspective while winding down the day.

- baths. just started getting back into baths and reading a magazine. an indulgence, if you will, but oh so life-giving. ;)

- time with extended family. any time we get to share with others is such a treat for me and leaves my heart feeling so full.

What things are life-giving for you and/or for your families?

Sally and various members of her family have written a number of books. If you want to check some out, here are few that I have:

Mission of Motherhood - my first Sally book to read (thanks to Lori!) and one of my favorites, especially for new moms. A great starting place!

Ministry of Motherhood - a follow up to Mission of Motherhood focusing on how to disciple your children

Read for the Heart - "living" books to read to your children

Seasons of a Mother's Heart - geared more towards the homeschooling mother (but, in my book we are all homeschooling mothers)

Here are a few others that she offers that I have not gotten around to reading yet. I am sure there are more than even the ones I have mentioned here.

Dancing with my Father - Sally's newest book on biblical joy

The Mom Walk - describing what it means to pray and read the Word

24 Family Ways - a family devotion book written by her husband, Clay

Heartfelt Discipline - self-explanatory, by Clay as well