these are the days.

Oh...deep breathe.

The past few months have been a whirlwind in many ways. Having a new baby will do that to you, ya know. But, in addition to welcoming our sweet Wesley, we have had to say goodbye to some very dear friends.

One thing that I have learned in our time in New York is the importance of friends. I know I say this all of the time, but it's because they really are your family here. They celebrate the highest highs with you and they also see you in your raw and unlovely moments as well. So real. So intense. Most of us, if not all of us, are thousands of miles away from our real family and so we have learned to relish the spiritual family God has provided. Oh, has He been faithful.

The Roses. I can't even say their name right now without tearing up and smiling the biggest smile. You can't be sad about being friends with the Roses. Over the last four years, Kristian and Katy have become some of our closest couple friends and we have been extremely blessed to have lived life with them in the City and to learn from them. They taught us so many things about what it means to live a compelling life on mission for Christ. They walked the walk and lived it out in such a real and humble way that anyone who knows them is moved to do the same. We shared family trips together, many holidays together, and more meals than I can count. This summer we said goodbye to them for now. God has led them to Oklahoma while Kristian begins Law school.

The Dunbars. A family who exudes fun and craziness and who exemplified God's perfect provision for us over the past few years. As most of you know, because I talk about them all of the time, they were not only dear friends but also neighbors. We shared the downstairs of an apartment building with them, including the outdoor space. Every day we were together for something. The kids played outside as if we were in a suburban neighborhood; they rode bikes together, played in the dirt together, came back and forth until it was time for baths. Oh yeah, and those free date nights. David and I were able to enjoy a weekly date night with our good friends right next door. Sarah became such a dear friend to me. We cried together often. We could share our frustrations one minute and then laugh so hard and leave more thankful than anything when we finished our conversation. Our families grew together. Struggled together. Played together. Ate together... a lot. Lived life together. We said goodbye for now as they moved to Seattle a few weeks ago. Sigh. New York City, just won't be the same City without them.

(Katy, Me, Sarah)

And then sometimes when you live life together, it takes you down a road you never imagined. This past Monday, we said goodbye to my friend, Chamie's husband. We have walked, prayed, and battled cancer with them for the last year. It is just not how God designed it to be. After sitting with her for five hours the day her husband was taken from her home for the last time, I sat on her couch realizing that living life together means living all of life together. It means you go deep...fast. It means wrestling with your faith and crying out to God together. It means standing beside and learning to hold one another up when you just don't think you can take another step forward.

Tonight was the memorial service. It was more than beautiful and more than tough. There are just not words. As I sat beside my closest NY girlfriends and right behind Chamie tonight as we honored her husband, I was so humbled. I felt so grateful. Grateful for friends. Grateful for learning that God really does provide in the wilderness. And especially grateful that God doesn't answer all of our prayers. Grateful that instead, He has kept our family in New York for now and that He chose me to be here in this moment, crying these tears and worshiping our Savior alongside these women. Grateful.

When Sarah left a few weeks ago, she sent out one last email to her friends and said that she will always look back at her time in NY as the "time of her life". I just might agree and I haven't even left. Through all of the joys of hellos and all of the tears of goodbyes...these are the days. Such a range of emotion and yet it's what makes life so full and rich.

These are the days. Thank you, Lord, for the reminder tonight.

big sister turns 3.

My baby girl turned three at the end of June. Two weeks after we moved into our new apartment and one month after her little brother was born. I guess you could say it was a busy time in our lives.

So, what do we do? Throw a big birthday party at our newly unpacked apartment, of course. Not just any birthday party - a dress-up tea party!

The tea party was originally supposed to be hosted in our previous apartment's backyard garden, but since we moved unexpectedly, the garden moved indoors! The bonus about not having unpacked everything yet is that you can turn any room into a magical garden, right?

The kids decorated their own tea set. (Kate takes her crafts very seriously)

Enjoyed cupcakes in their very own teacups.

And, of course, got to dress-up.

We concluded the party with a huge hit: the string pinata.

It was a success!

A special thank you to Aunt Kimber and Mia, who each made a special trip to New York and who helped make this party possible. :)

hello there.

Welcome, Wesley James.

May 27th.

6 lbs 14oz.

You came into our lives quite unexpectedly, really. It started out as such a normal Thursday. I made a good breakfast: eggs, toast, maybe even some turkey sausage, if I remember correctly. It is my favorite meal of the day after all. I was taking your sister to her gymnastics class and decided to stop by the doctor for our weekly exam. It was such an ordinary day that suddenly turned to the extraordinary when the doctor curiously asked me, "Are you feeling anything right now?"

Of course, I laughed. I mean living in New York City, walking everywhere and being a mom of an active 2 year old at the time - I feel quite a lot, but I move on ahead as all moms do, you know, one foot in front of the other. "You are already dilated to a 3 and I can feel the baby. You need to go to the hospital."

"So, I can't take Kate to her gymnastics class first and then go to the hospital?", I asked. Spoken like a true mom in denial.

Dr: "No."

Me: "OK, so I go to the sonogram place again where they hook me up to this machine and see if I am having contractions?"

Dr: "No, you get in a cab and you go straight to Labor and Delivery. You are having a baby... today."

Me: "OK, then." Head spinning. I was practically in tears that Kate has to miss her beloved gymastics class; never mind that this is the day. 16 days early, but still the day has come when we will move into a family of four.

Oh gosh - check list begins spinning in my head. Call David. Call Sarah. Drop Kate off at Sarah's (our neighbor, at the time, and very dear friend) Call parents. Pray. Try to keep it together as I walk two blocks to the hospital. Call the Roses. Call Murph. Figure out who can stay with Kate overnight. Get a Plan B. Text other dear friends for prayer. Meet David at hospital. Get into gown. Get hooked up to machine at hospital. Answer questions. Feel contractions. Feel more contractions. The nurse confirms the baby is still in breech position (see previous post for details) which means ... the C-Section is inevitable at this point.

Then the question comes from the nurse, "Did you eat anything for breakfast?"

"Uh, Yes!" Trying not to look at her in that - "did you really just ask me that question" kind of way. I mean it is the best meal of the day in my book. What pregnant woman doesn't eat breakfast, I am thinking to myself? She asks me if it was just cereal and I had to confess that it was most definitely eggs, and toast and sausage. Sigh. Then tells me I have to wait all day for the food to pass through my system because I am about to have surgery.

Great.

I look at my watch. It is 9:30am.

Me: "OK, so like Noon?

Nurse: "No, more like 4 or 5pm."

Me: "OK."

So, for the next several hours that felt like an eternity, we waited and waited and waited to see you. The contractions grew stronger but were bearable. It was such a strange feeling to feel the contractions but know that I was about to have surgery and that this experience was going to be so incredibly different than the one I had with your sister. Neither one better or worse. Just different.

Your dad and I wanted to take one last picture of us before I went into the operating room. Our life and our family was about to change for the better. We couldn't wait any longer!

I went into the OR first and and then your Daddy met me in there and you were born about 10 minutes later at 5:52pm. We were so proud. I could hear you cry even though I couldn't see you quite yet behind the curtain. The first thing the doctor said as you were born was, "He's a cute one!"

Then the doctor handed you to your Daddy and I was able to see you for the first time. It still takes my breathe away to think back to that moment.

Then I noticed your Daddy started looking a bit white. Like, really white. Then I heard him say, "Doc, I'm not feeling so great." Then a rush of nurses escorted you and your Daddy out of the OR while the doctor finished putting me back together. Literally. Oh - should I not have said that? All I know is when I was ready, I was rolled into a recovery room where you and your Daddy were waiting for me. Your Daddy was much better after taking off his scrubs and downing 3 juice boxes. :)

What a blessed day. God's provision was evident through every detail and every doctor and every nurse. Prayers were answered. Nothing was as we would have planned it on May 27th and yet it was the very plan God had designed for you and for us and so it was perfect. Just as it should be.

This is your big sister, Kate, when she met you for the first time. She loved to count your toes and was so excited to realize you both had 10 of them! "We match!", she exclaimed. She loves you so much already. It makes me cry - in a good way.

Three days later, your Daddy and big sister carried you home. Your Mia, Uncle Dan and Ashley and I followed closely behind.

Welcome, Wesley James.

We love you.

So much.

I Can Explain

New Baby

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Move

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7 weeks of Visitors

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Broken Computer

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No Blogging for Months

Stay Tuned.

17 Ways to Spin a Baby like Wesley James

{Written back in May}

As many of you know, I am currently 35 weeks (36 weeks on Sunday) pregnant with a sweet little boy, Wesley James Sullivan. I can't believe he will be here any day! We are excitedly awaiting his arrival but thankful he is not here yet!

Here is his picture as of 34 weeks. Hope it doesn't freak you out.

This pregnancy has been quite a bit different than with Kate, but that was to be expected - to a certain extent. I just didn't know how different it would be; he has kept us on our toes, or on our knees, if you will.

The first trimester, I experienced a not-so-fun few months of regular morning sickness, which for me was more "afternoon sickness". With Kate, not so much sickness of any kind. Nothing to complain about though.

Then we had a bit of a scare a few months ago when we learned of a 'spot' on the baby's heart that led us to several additional check-ups and a visit with the cardiologist. Nights of waiting and possibilities filled our heads along with many prayers lifted up for mercy, for health and for peace. We prayed and really had a peace regardless of what news we heard in the office that day, as it could have represented one of several things, but God was gracious and all is well and healthy and fully functioning. How comforting those words are to hear in that moment. Then, about a month ago, we went in for the 32 week sonogram and we hear that Baby Wesley has decided to his "own" thing and remain in a breech position.

Hmmm...OK, so that is different. Now, what?

As you might guess, I looked online with the obvious search words, "how to turn a breech baby?" Who knew there were so many ways to spin the baby?! One article came up with 17 ways! A website that a doula referred me to, www.spinningbabies.com.

Some of my favorites that we had to try just for fun were:

1. To place something cold on top of your belly and something warm at the bottom, so that the baby will turn toward the warmth. No luck.

2. Place clothes pins on your pinky toes to stimulate a pressure point. No luck and extremely painful.

3. Get into an inverted pose where your rear is up in the air and your arms down - almost like an extreme downward dog.

(You should have seen David's face when he would return from work and see me in some

contorted position with a very red face) Yes, Kate would try them too. Nice.

4. Place headphones playing classical music "down there" to help lure your baby to turn his head.

Stop laughing. I could go on and on.

Ok. You can laugh. I still tried it. All.

Well, "They" say that weeks 34-36 are the crucial weeks and the prime time to turn the baby. So,

after some of these methods didn't work, I decided to pull out the big guns heading into week

#35.

35 weeks: Acupuncture. A bit scared and mostly skeptical I take a 40 minute cab ride down to

Union Square to meet with an acupuncturist who specializes in a method called

Moxibustion.

Moxibustion uses a tightly rolled stick of mugwort herb much like a stick of incense. The coal at the end of the moxibustion stick is held over an acupuncture point to heat the point. Repeated 2-3 times a day for 2 1/2 minutes per side of the body has given success to some mothers in flipping breech babies.

For us - it came to be known as the "pot stick", because it smelled like I was smoking a joint. Not only did I go for a treatment in the acupuncturist's office, but she gave me a stick to take home and try on my own. I tried it once on my own and David came home from work and quickly told me we needed to air out our apartment before everyone in the building would report us to the management company that we were the neighbors "smoking pot". Then David kindly helped me with another Moxibustion session outside on our patio, at midnight, so that our neighbors couldn't see where the smoke was coming from. Didn't work.

SO...

Week 36 & 37: Chiropractor. I was referred to a wonderful woman on the Upper East Side who specializes in turning breech babies. She was amazing. She spent hours getting my muscles relaxed enough to allow the baby more room to move. She pushed on my belly and tried and tried to turn him. My back and pregnant body had never felt so good. I guess she was worth the $100/a visit that we paid just for that!

I saw her on that Wednesday evening during Week 37. May 26th. On Thursday morning...our lives were about to change forever. Read on.

Party Animals and Reality TV

This week I had two interesting New York moments:

On Tuesday morning, I was taking Kate to Central Park for our regular playground and picnic morning. As I'm waddling (35 weeks pregnant) up to Park Avenue on 76th Street, I notice what is not an unusual scene in the City. A group of cameras and their subject. As I get closer, I see that it is Alex from Real Housewives of New York, completely put together - hair perfect, fashionably dressed, and complete with high heels, of course!

There were two other moms in front of me trying to cross the street as well. Alex politely moved so that the stroller parade could make their way before the light turned. I just found it quite ironic that here we are - the "real" moms/housewives of NYC - in workout clothes, hair pulled back in a pony tail, hardly any make-up on, if any, actually with our kids, struggling to push out strollers over to the park. I just can't figure out why the cameras don't want to capture the REAL moms? :)

***

Party Animals is the name of Kathie Lee Gifford's new children's book. This afternoon, I took Kate to a book signing party near us for the new book. It was complete with wild children running around, cupcakes and juice, and some free loot; each child got a Skip Hop lunch box! Kate chose the bee. :)

She was lovely in person, although I am not the biggest fan. She was sweet and danced and played with the kids. Of course, there were cameras all around.

Nothing like a FREE event and a fun NY afternoon with friends! I'm trying not to be bitter though, that we spent $20 for the same book you can buy on Amazon for $12. Oh well - it's a personalized and signed copy, so that counts for something, right!? I guess it's all about the experience. :)

To Photograph; Document; Capture

This Mother's Day weekend was all about capturing the moment. Savoring and taking mental and physical pictures of the blessings of family. After David took Kate and I to my favorite brunch place, Sarabeth's at Central Park South, we came home and spent the majority of the day capturing moments in our "home studio".

Baby Wesley is coming any day - but hopefully not for a few more weeks. :) What a special time to capture these moments as a family while we wait with great anticipation for his arrival. What a perfect way to celebrate Mother's Day. I feel so blessed. Beyond words, really.